A Matter of the Heart
by NikkiB1973
Summary: Billy falls ill on Bella's wedding day which sparks a train of events which forces Bella to make a choice...set in Breaking Dawn AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A Matter of the Heart **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-set on Bella's wedding day in Breaking Dawn AU.**_

**Prologue**

Bella was a bundle of nerves. She didn't like being the centre of attention, in fact she actively sought the best way to avoid being in the spotlight. But today that was not an option. Today was her chance to shine, today was the day she was going to marry the man she loved, and it was his wish to have an extravagant wedding. He insisted he wanted to show the world what true love really meant as they exchanged vows in front of their friends and family. Bella loved Edward so much that she would grant him this one thing, even though deep down inside it was the last thing she wanted to do. She had often dreamed of her wedding day, especially as a child. What girl didn't give it some thought at least once in their life? But the wedding she had pictured in her head was nothing like this showy extravaganza. No it was quiet, sedate, with none of the traditional trappings which she was going to have to endure today.

She sighed as she fidgeted in her high heels. Another necessary evil! Why couldn't she just wear her flat ballet shoes? At least she knew in them she was unlikely to trip, but no, Alice, Edward's sister, had insisted she wear the expensive designer stiletto's she had so lovingly picked out for her. Again Bella had conceded to someone else's wishes. Alice had spent so much time planning and organising this huge event that Bella felt silly arguing over a pair of shoes.

"Take a deep breath, baby girl." Her mother's voice startled Bella. She hadn't heard Renee come in. "You look beautiful." Renee sighed as she fiddled with Bella's veil. "My little girl all grown up." Tears glittered in her eyes as she looked Bella up and down.

"Mom don't." Bella felt tears pooling in her own eyes. "I'll ruin my makeup."

"I can't help getting emotional, baby girl." Renee laughed softly as she leaned in and hugged her daughter, careful not to crush the dress as she did so. "I must say the dress is gorgeous, not something I ever pictured you choosing."

Bella brushed her hands over the smooth satin skirts. They billowed around her slim legs, accentuating her tiny waist. No, it was definitely not to her taste, but Alice had insisted she had seen a vision of her wearing this exact dress when they had been flicking through some bridal magazines to get some ideas. Bella had nearly fainted at the cost of the dress, but Edward had laughed at her and told her money was no object. Still, it felt too ostentatious to Bella and she was waiting for the whole ceremony to be over so she could take it off. It was moments like these she was glad her future husband could not read her mind.

"Is dad coming?" Bella asked Renee as her mother continued fussing around her, adjusting this and smoothing out that. "It's nearly time." The music outside had started. She could hear Alice issuing orders in her bell like tones to the caterers they had hired to provide the food. Bella fought a giggle as she thought about the Cullen's. Not one of them would be able to taste the gourmet spread that was waiting for the guests. Then again neither could she, not in the boned corset she was wearing. She could barely breathe.

"Charlie is on the phone." Renee's face showed her disapproval. "You'd think he could put the damn thing away on his own daughter's wedding day." She huffed as she smoothed some stray hairs back from Bella's face. "Then again that's Charlie, married to his job as always."

"Mom." Bella said irritably. She hated hearing her mother criticize her father. She had grown a lot closer to Charlie since she had moved back to Forks to live with him.

Renee was just going to hurry Charlie up when he appeared in the room. His face was ashen, his fingers pulling at the silky cravat on his morning suit as he hurried over to Bella. The two women exchanged worried glances. They had never seen Charlie Swan looking so harassed. "Dad, what's wrong?" Bella said in alarm. She was worried he was going to have a heart attack or something. He looked that ill.

Charlie took hold of Bella's hands, ignoring his ex-wife's protests as he pulled Bella into a tight hug, crushing her dress. "I am so sorry, kiddo. I'm going to have to go." He swallowed thickly before continuing. "I wouldn't run out on you like this if there wasn't a good reason, but I just got a call from Sue Clearwater. Billy has collapsed and is in hospital."

Bella felt like she had been kicked in the stomach. All the air left her body and she had to lean heavily against Charlie to stay upright. Billy? Billy was in hospital? _Jake_…she closed her eyes when his name careered through her head. She had forced herself to put him to the back of her mind as her wedding day approached. There had been no sight or sound of her best friend for months. He had gone wolf after Edward had sent him an invitation to their wedding. It had sparked the first ever real argument between Bella and Edward. She had been livid that he had taken it upon himself to go behind her back and send that to Jake. She knew how it must have tortured Jake, seeing it in black and white that she was getting married. It made it all the more real, and must have seemed as if she was rubbing her upcoming nuptials in his face. It had taken a lot of grovelling from Edward for her to forgive him.

The whole episode had dampened Bella's happiness as she began to plan her wedding. She was glad when Alice had insisted on organising the whole thing. It left Bella free to worry over Jake in secret. She hounded Seth daily for updates, but Jake's pack brother never had any news. Jake had cut himself off from everybody. Now this! His dad had fallen ill and he didn't know. She heard Charlie and Renee talking as if from a distance.

"You can't take off now. You are about to walk your daughter down the aisle." Renee hissed at her former husband.

"Phil can stand in." Charlie couldn't care less. Billy's welfare was more important. He had wondered why his best friend had not arrived yet. Billy had promised to come and support him. It was common knowledge that Charlie hated his future son in law, and thought the whole marriage was a farce. He was only going through the motions for Bella's sake. "Bells understands."

"I can't believe you're going to do this." Renee snapped indignantly. "But this is so you…."

"Shut up." Bella finally recovered her voice. She couldn't stand hearing them argue. Not about this. _Billy, Jake_…their names reverberated around her head. She wanted to rip the confining dress from her body. She was having trouble breathing.

"Bells?" Charlie caught her as she stumbled a little. "Are you okay?" His daughter's face had turned white under her heavy makeup.

"Jake." Bella finally said his name aloud and her world came crashing around her. The wedding march had started and it sounded loud to her ears. Perspiration coated her brow and she clutched wildly onto her father's shoulders. "Jake doesn't know."

Charlie sighed heavily and steered his daughter toward the only chair in the room. "Jake came back this morning. Just in time thankfully. He is at the hospital with Sue and some others." He hesitated when he saw Bella's brown eyes widen in surprise. "I wasn't going to tell you that. Look I have to go, kiddo. You don't mind Phil replacing me, do you?" He was getting desperate to leave. Billy's health had always been fragile, after losing Harry not too long ago, Charlie was determined not to lose Billy too.

Bella felt like her world was closing in around her. Jake was back? He came back? All the worry and anxiety she had felt on his behalf when he had gone missing consumed her. How terrible for him to come home only to find that Billy was in the hospital? Why had he chosen to come back today? Had he intended to come and see her? She brushed this thought aside. As ever she was being completely self-absorbed. His return on this day of all days probably was a coincidence. God, he must be in turmoil. The music got louder and Bella winced. She heard a frantic knocking on the door as Alice called to her that it was time. Renee was telling her to breathe deeply and get ready to leave the room. Charlie was kneeling in front of her, his brown eyes, so like hers, studying her astutely. "He needs his best friend." He whispered quietly so only Bella could hear. She raised her head and met his eyes and nodded. Charlie's face softened as he smiled at her sadly and patted her hand. He stood and stared authoritatively at his ex-wife and Alice who had slipped silently into the room. "There will be no wedding today." He stated firmly. "I would appreciate it if you gave my daughter space." He turned to face Alice. Edwards's sister was staring at Bella in horror. "I assume you'll be able to tell the groom."

* * *

Charlie and Bella slipped quietly out of the mansion. She had changed out of her wedding garb and back into her old clothes, a pair of jeans teamed with a plaid shirt. It soothed her wearing her old clothes. She felt more like herself and not some dolled up mannequin. There had been no time to see Edward or talk to him. Alice had been left to deal with the aftermath of her departure. Charlie had phoned Sue again only to find there was no change in Billy's condition. He was desperate to get to the hospital, and Bella didn't want to delay him. Renee had been aghast that Bella was going to walk out on her own wedding, and she expressed her disbelief.

Bella knew her mother didn't understand her tie to Jake and his father. She had no idea of the sacrifice the Black's had made for her and the Cullen's. She wouldn't be alive today if it hadn't been for Jake and his brothers. He had done so much for her, the least she could do was be there for him in his time of need. Even if it meant walking out on her own wedding. She could get married another time. This was much more important.

The drive to the hospital had seemed to take forever. Father and daughter were both tense and anxious as they willed the hired car to go faster. Neither spoke, both their minds far away as they worried about Billy and Jake. It was with relief when they reached the hospital and parked up. Bella felt her heart lurch in her chest as she unsnapped her seatbelt and climbed out of the car. It suddenly hit her that Jake might not be best pleased to see her. They had parted on less than amicable terms. She had broken his heart and he had asked her to stay away from him while he tried to come to terms with her decision to marry Edward, even though she had confessed he held a large part of her heart too.

Bella tried to dampen down her own fears as she accompanied her father into the hospital reception area. The last thing she wanted was to upset Jacob by being there, but she had to at least show her face, if he demanded she leave, then she would abide by his wishes. At least he would see that she had tried. To her surprise she saw the whole pack lounging in the waiting room. She felt all eyes turn her way, some hostile, some shocked and some bemused that she was there. Of course they wouldn't have expected her to turn up. Bella tried to ignore the intense stares as she sought Jacob. He wasn't with them. Charlie seemed unaware of the tension; his sole focus was on getting to his friend.

It was Sam who approached them. He greeted Bella warily, his face showing his confusion mixed with a little respect that she had the balls to show up here, especially on her wedding day. "The doctors are assessing Billy now. Jake and Sue are down the corridor to the left near the entrance to the ER. We couldn't all go with them, too many of us." He smiled wryly as he glanced back at the pack. "It should be alright if you two go through. I know Sue has been waiting anxiously for you Charlie." He said to the older man.

"Thanks." Charlie swiftly left. Bella followed him, shooting Sam a grateful smile as she did so.

Nerves were building up inside as she counted the seconds before she caught her first glimpse of Jacob in months. And then suddenly he was there, right in front of her. He must have heard and smelt her coming toward him. Bella had forgotten how tall he was, how strong and vital. He filled the small corridor with his commanding presence. She heard him inhale sharply, his dark eyes staring at her in disbelief. It was only then she noticed his shaggy hair and the dark circles underscoring his eyes. He had lost a little weight and seemed uneasy surrounded by so much humanity.

"Bella." Her name was torn from his throat; his voice was deep and husky with disuse. Bella saw the shimmer of tears in his eyes and it was her undoing. She didn't hesitate any longer. She ran over to him and flung herself into his open arms.

_**A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A Matter of the Heart**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the kind reviews, Nikki :)**_

**Part One-Mixed Emotions**

Jacob held Bella for a long time. He hid his face in her hair, breathing in her sweet scent. He couldn't believe she had come to him. She had left her own wedding just so she could be here to comfort him. A small ray of hope entered his deadened heart; he felt it begin to beat painfully in his chest as he grasped onto that feeling and held it inside. It had been hard to be around so many people after running as a wolf for so long. During his long absence he had felt as if his very humanity was slipping away from him. The loss of Bella's love had nearly consumed him. He had tried numbing the pain by giving into his feral side. But in the end even this hadn't been enough to drown out his misery. Even as he persuaded himself not to count down the days to her wedding, his internal calendar had been keeping score. Even without him being fully aware of his own actions, he had headed for home just in time for her big day. Jacob had been glad he had done so. If he hadn't…his dad…He had to stop that train of thought. The guilt was already threatening to overwhelm him. He held onto Bella tighter, his fingers digging into her back. She was the only solid thing in his world and he needed her to shield him from the pain.

"Jake, air." Bella's words pulled him out of his reverie. He came back into the moment realising he was gripping onto her so tight he had cut off her airways. He released her at once. Bella gasped as air filled her lungs.

"I'm sorry. I didn't….I…" Jacob fumbled to find the right words. He was appalled at what he had so nearly done. He had hurt her. He collapsed into the chair behind him and put his head in his hands.

It took a moment for Bella to regain her senses. As soon as she felt able to breathe properly she quickly sat next to him and put a hand on his knee. His leg was bouncing up and down agitatedly. She guessed he was finding being around so many people exhausting after having been alone in the wilderness for so long. "Do you want to take a walk?" She suggested tentatively. "We won't go far. I could do with some fresh air."

Jacob raised his head and nodded. He felt her take his hand and squeeze his fingers gently. He had missed this, missed her touch, missed the closeness and the easy way she understood his needs without him having to say anything. They were so in synch, he wondered how she couldn't see it. He heard her whispering to Charlie that they were going outside for a few minutes. The older man agreed it was a good idea and he would seek them out if there was news about Billy's condition. Bella tugged on his hand and led the way out of the hospital. They passed the pack, who just looked at them silently, their eyes zeroing in on their joined hands.

Bella was right as soon as they walked through the double doors and stepped out, the fresh air hit them. It soothed Jacob's nerves and he felt the stiffness around his shoulders ease a little. They strolled toward a free bench and sat down, side by side. Bella placed a hand on his shoulder as she peered into his eyes worriedly. "I have been so worried about you." She whispered as Jacob looked back at her. "I've had nightmares wondering where you were. Poor Seth had to put up with my constant badgering for updates." She smiled weakly and shifted a little closer as she sought some of his warmth. It was chilly outside.

"I shouldn't have run." Jacob's voice was a little rusty from disuse. He cleared his throat a couple of times as he tried to ease the dryness. "I was stupid. My dad…this is all my fault." Tears pooled in his eyes and he blinked to stop them from falling.

"No it's not." Bella said firmly. "If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. You wouldn't have run if it wasn't for me." Her face was full of regret. She absently rubbed the skin on his shoulder. Little electric sparks shot between them at her touch, startling them both. Bella took her hand away and put it in her lap. Jacob missed her touch and he immediately put his hand over hers. She glanced up at him again as a lone tear rolled down her cheek. "Where did you go?"

"Canada, all different places." Jacob laced his fingers with hers. He needed to feel her. Needed to feel she was real and not some sort of sick illusion. "I roamed about aimlessly. I just wanted to bury the pain so I wouldn't have to feel."

Another tear rolled down Bella's cheek as she listened. Guilt swamped her as she heard the underlying pain in his voice that he was having trouble concealing. She had done this to him. It was all down to her indecision and the fact that her heart was torn for this noble human boy that she loved and the impossible love she felt for a vampire. How had it all come to this? After everything she was still hurting all those she loved. Her mind drifted to Edward. It shocked her that she hadn't given a thought to how he was faring. She had left him alone without an explanation to deal with the aftermath of the aborted wedding.

"Bella." Jacob was touching her cheek, stroking her skin with gentle fingers. "Where did you go?"

Bella didn't want to confess she had been thinking of Edward. She caught his hand and pulled it away from her face. "I just want to say how sorry I am for hurting you, Jake. I know mere words cannot begin to…"

"I love you." Jacob's heartfelt words stopped Bella in her tracks. She stared at him, her brown eyes full of pain as she saw the proof reflected in his. "Do you still love me?" He pressed. He took her hand again, his thumb stroking her palm. His touch was proving very distracting.

Bella swallowed thickly as she thought about the best way to answer such a loaded question. But thankfully they were interrupted by Charlie who had come out to find them. "Hey, you two." He greeted them. Bella noticed her dad looked a little more hopeful. It had to be good news. "Billy is out of intensive care. He is stable and they hope he'll be awake soon. It seems that he succumbed to a diabetic coma. He is severely dehydrated, but they've put him on drip which should help. You can come and see him now, Jake." He put a hand on Jacob's shoulder.

Jacob was up instantly. He still had hold of Bella's hand which meant he pulled her up with him. His happiness at the news was evident all over his face. He swung around and hugged Bella tightly. "He's gonna be okay."

Bella smiled and returned his hug fiercely. "That's great." She was the first to pull away. "Come on let's get you back inside."

"You are coming?" Jacob checked, frowning.

"Of course." Bella saw Charlie studying her speculatively and she felt a sinking feeling lodge in her stomach. She knew what he was thinking. He was worried that now Billy was alright she was going to dash back to Edward and hurt Jacob all over again. Bella knew she had to see Edward and explain, but she wasn't planning on leaving Jacob just yet. She sensed how fragile he was still feeling. She shot her dad an irritated glance as she followed Jacob back into the hospital.

* * *

"His colours good, don't you think, Bells?" Jacob asked her as he hovered over Billy's bed. His eyes were trained on his father's sleeping form, worry lines creasing his forehead.

"Yes, he looks good, Jake." Bella squeezed his hand. He hadn't let go of her since they had come into Billy's room. "He'll be alright. You have to stop worrying." She rubbed his arm with her free hand. Once again the undercurrent of sparks vibrated between them making them both turn to look at each other. Bella coughed uncomfortably as she was the first to break the intense stare. "Perhaps we should sit down." She suggested.

"There's only one chair." Jacob pointed out.

"You sit. I'll stand."

"Nah, we both sit." Jacob gave her a small smile. The first one since she had seen him. It lit up his whole face. She let out a startled cry when Jacob grabbed her around the waist and pulled her onto his lap. "There you go. We're both sitting." He teased.

Bella felt awkward sitting on his lap. It was too intimate and gave the wrong impression. She squirmed a little as his inviting heat swarmed around her. But Jacob held her tightly preventing her from getting up. The door to Billy's room opened and Charlie walked in followed by Sue Clearwater. Bella saw her father frown as he looked at her sitting on Jacob's lap. She felt his disapproval and quickly wriggled free. "I brought you both a coffee." Charlie passed her the Styrofoam cup.

"Thanks." Bella mumbled, her face turning red. She saw Sue hand Jacob a similar cup. He didn't seem bothered in the slightest.

Jacob looked toward his dad again. "When will he come around?" He asked Sue.

"It should be soon." Sue assured him as she exchanged a dubious glance with Charlie. Bella noticed and her blush deepened.

"I might just step outside." She was dying to escape the knowing looks that her father and Sue were sharing. They had misunderstood the situation completely, although her damn blushing wasn't helping matters. She was making herself look guilty. She saw Jacob turn, his face full of consternation at her mention of going outside.

"Stay." He begged her.

Bella felt her cell begin to vibrate in her pocket. She had put it on silent so it wouldn't alarm anyone when it rang. She guessed it was Edward. He must be really worried about her by now. She wanted to answer it but couldn't bear to see the anxiety in Jacob's eyes. She slipped her hand in her pocket and ended the call. "I'll stay." She promised. She was rewarded as the anxiety left his face and he smiled. He held out his hand to her. As she went to take it she saw Sue and her father exchange another worried glance.

_**A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A Matter of the Heart**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the kind reviews. Nikki **_

_**I don't usually listen to music when I write as I find it distracting, but for this chapter I listened to Snow Patrol's Set Down Your Glass, it just seemed to fit the story somehow! **_

**Part Two-Cut to the Quick**

It took another couple of hours before Billy regained consciousness. He opened his eyes to see his son, and none other than Bella Swan sitting beside him. He had to blink a few times to make sure he wasn't seeing things. "Jake." He said hoarsely.

"It's me, dad." Jake smiled in relief and quickly passed Billy some water. He used a straw and held it to his father's mouth so he could suck the cool liquid carefully. "Better?" He asked when Billy indicated he'd had enough.

"Yes." He croaked. Billy glanced at Bella again, his eyes showing their confusion.

Jacob noticed and took Bella's hand. She was smiling at Billy nervously, secretly wishing that her dad was in the room to take the heat off of her, but he had gone for a walk with Sue Clearwater to get some air. Jacob squeezed her hand. "Bells has been here the whole time. We've been so worried about you, dad." He paused for a second. "I'm sorry…I should never have left you alone the way I did." He hung his head in shame.

Billy noticed Bella use her free hand to gently stroke Jacob's arm in comfort. He frowned as anxiety welled up inside him. Why was she even here? Wasn't she married? How had she and Jake ended up together? He felt his head spinning with all the unanswered questions. The last thing he remembered was attempting to get ready to attend Bella's nuptials. He was going out of courtesy so he could support Charlie, and because he wanted to see for himself whether Bella would actually go through with it. He glanced down at her left hand to see she was still wearing the hideous engagement ring the cold one had given her. But what was missing was the wedding band. "You didn't get married?" He asked, unable to stop himself.

Jacob froze, his brow furrowing at the mention of Bella's wedding. Bella felt him stiffen and continued to rub his arm until he relaxed. Again she felt the undercurrent of electricity pass between them, but she chose to ignore it as she focused all her attention on Billy. "No, when I heard that you had fallen ill. I had to come. I wanted to support Jake and you." She saw the look of disbelief pass across Billy's face. It saddened her that he seemed to feel ambivalent about her actions. He was probably worried the effect this was all going to have on his son, and she couldn't blame him.

"Bells just walked out on her wedding." Jacob took over the conversation when Billy didn't respond. "She chose us, dad. She chose to come here." He turned to look at Bella and flashed her a heart breaking smile. Seeing it took her breath away and she couldn't speak. She saw worry cross Billy's face and she had to drop her eyes to the floor, she just couldn't bear to see the hope shining in Jacob's eyes.

Charlie and Sue returned at this point preventing any of them saying anything further. Charlie smiled in relief when he saw his old friend awake and talking. He began to trade affectionate banter with Billy. Sue joined in, as relieved as Charlie that Billy had pulled through and seemed to be on the mend. She lectured him a little on taking better care of himself.

Bella stood up while the adults took over the conversation. Jake took hold of her hand and looked at her warily. "Where are you going?" She winced when she heard the underlying anxiety in his voice. She knew he was panicking that once she left the room she was going to disappear. Bella hated what she had done to him. This was all her fault. She felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket again. Edward must be frantic by now because she had not been answering it. Bella was dying to reassure him that everything was okay.

"I'm just going to the bathroom." Bella pulled her hand out of Jake's and began to retreat to the door. Jacob got up as if to follow her, but Billy called his name and he had to reluctantly go to him. Bella slipped away while they were all preoccupied.

* * *

Bella locked herself in one of the cubicles and finally answered her phone. Edward was indeed frantic. He bombarded her with questions and she tried to answer them as best she could. As she was with Jake Alice couldn't see what was happening. When she didn't answer his calls he had been on the verge of coming to the hospital to investigate. Bella's spine went cold when she heard this. Edward couldn't come. Jake was far too emotionally fragile to see his arch rival turning up at the hospital. Bella felt like she had dodged a bullet. "I am fine, Edward. You don't need to be here."

"I want to support you." Edward replied. He sounded a little sad. "I hate to think of you there all alone. I know what lonely places hospitals can be. I'm your fiancé, Bella. That's my role."

"I'm not alone, and I have plenty of support. I have my dad and…"

"Jacob Black." Edward's voice was now impatient. "You said Billy was awake and talking. Perhaps you should come home now? I can pick you up. I'll be there in less than ten minutes."

"No. I'm needed here." Bella sighed as she tried to think of the best way to persuade Edward that she needed to stay. She knew the last thing he wanted to hear was that it was because of Jake she wanted to stay. "My dad needs my support during this difficult time. Seeing Billy this way has really shaken him up."

"I understand that Bella. You are so self-sacrificing." Edward hesitated a moment. "Right about now we would have been on the way to our honeymoon." He said wistfully.

Honeymoon? Bella had barely given it a thought, all those weeks she had been looking forward to having Edward all to herself, and these past few hours it had slipped her mind. It had been kept a secret so she had no idea where they were actually going to spend their wedding night. Edward had been adamant he wanted it as a surprise. "Yeah, it's such a shame, but it can't be helped."

"Alice is already rearranging things, my love. Don't worry we will be married soon. As it was being held on our grounds it's only the invitations we have to send out again, and re-booking the registrar and caterers. We've been discussing it and we thought maybe two weeks from now would be enough time to…"

"What do you mean we?" Bella interrupted his ramblings.

"Well the whole family, apart from Rosalie of course. You know how difficult she can be." Edward sighed heavily. "But everyone else is excited about the prospect. It was unfortunate that today had to be cancelled, but I can assure you Alice especially has an even bigger reception in mind. She is in her element." He laughed indulgently as he spoke about his adopted sister.

"Well she hardly has anything else to do." Bella said tartly. She didn't know why but the very fact they were already organising another wedding irked her. She was supposed to be the bride shouldn't she have some say?

Edward caught her sharp tone. "Love, are you alright? I am so sorry. You must be tired. I wasn't thinking. Are you sure I can't pick you up and take you home so you can get some rest?" He asked solicitously.

"I'm fine." Bella said dully. "I have to go my battery's running out. I'll call you later." She ended the call before he could respond.

* * *

Jacob was waiting for her outside Billy's room. He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed defensively across his chest, and frowning. Bella smiled at him but he didn't return it. "You were gone a long time." He searched her face as she turned red. "You were talking to _him_, weren't you?" His eyes turned dark when he referred to Edward as him.

Bella felt her head throbbing. It was like walking a tightrope, as she tried to navigate her way precariously between Jake and Edward. She wanted to please both of them, but ended up pleasing nobody. She rubbed her forehead trying to ease the ache. "Yes, I was if you must know. I had just walked out on my wedding day. I needed to talk to him and apologise."

"Apologise?" Jacob sneered. "Apologise for coming to support your friends. That bloodsucker really is something else."

"Enough." Bella felt tired, so tired of trying to do the right thing. "Don't talk about Edward like that." She chided him automatically.

"Here we go." Jacob pushed away from the wall and stood in front of her. He towered above her, and she had to crane her neck to look up into his eyes. Bella could see the hurt underneath the anger. However that didn't excuse him for the way he was talking to her now. "You always defend him. I bet he had a few choice names for me, but I bet you didn't tell him off."

"Actually you couldn't be more wrong. Edward was nothing but courteous, he was worried about you and Billy just as much as I was." This was not entirely true, Edward had briefly asked how Billy was, but he hadn't seemed overly interested in his welfare. He had glossed over her anxiety about Billy's recovery and started to prattle on about the aborted wedding. She didn't tell this to Jake though. This would have added more fuel to his hatred of Edward, and she wasn't in the mood for another argument. "Perhaps I should go home, Jake." She felt deflated, and just wanted to crash. It had been a long day. "I seem to be rubbing you up the wrong way at the moment. I'll see…"

Jake's whole demeanour changed. The anger left his eyes to be replaced by fear and uncertainty. He reached out and grabbed her, yanking her against his hard body. "I'm sorry." He whispered, pressing his lips into her hair. "I didn't mean to have a go. It's just been a heck of a day. Stay with me, Bella. I need you."

Bella couldn't fight this onslaught of emotion. It was too exhausting. She found herself agreeing. Jacob's hold on her loosened and he released her enough so he could up her face in his warm hands. Bella felt the undercurrent of electricity again as he touched her. She saw a slow smile cross his face so she knew he could feel it too. However he didn't comment on it. "I was going to head to the canteen and grab some food. Come with?" He gave her his puppy dog face, one which he knew she couldn't resist.

"Just as long you don't eat half the menu." Bella caved in and allowed him to take her hand.

"Now that I can't promise." Jacob joked as he took the lead and pulled her after him.

* * *

It was late, the pack had gone home. Now they knew that Billy was past the worst they had left to start the nightly patrols. Sue had gone with them. Charlie stayed with Billy. They spoke in low whispers as they spoke in worried tones about their respective children. Jacob and Bella were outside in the corridor. Jacob had fallen asleep as emotional exhaustion took its toll on him. His head was resting in Bella's lap. She was gazing anxiously down at his handsome face as he slept; she ran her fingers through his shaggy hair. It needed a good cut. Her touch soothed him and he only stirred a couple of times, murmuring her name. "Love you, Bells." The utter vulnerability in his voice cut her to the quick. She had never seen him that way before. Jake had always been the strong one, the one who propped her up when she fell. It was odd to be the one offering him comfort now. It worried her how on edge he became when she was out of his sight, even for a few moments. She knew that Billy and Charlie were worried too. It was written all over their faces as they looked at both of them. Guilt swamped her. This was all her doing. She had done this to Jake. Bella rested her head back against the cold wall behind her. She continued threading her fingers through Jake's silky hair as she closed her eyes and cried silent tears.

_**A/N-thank you for reading!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**A Matter of the Heart**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the kind reviews. Nikki **_

**Part Three-Caught Out**

Bella felt odd coming back home to her father's house. Hardly any of her stuff was here, only a few pieces of clothing she wasn't going to wear again. But here she was, sitting on the edge of her old bed, looking around at the bare walls of her bedroom. She missed having her things around her. She supposed she could have contacted Edward and asked him to bring over some of her clothes, or Alice. But somehow she was reluctant to talk to either of them. Right now she didn't want to hear anything about weddings or honeymoons. She just wanted a little time to herself so she could figure out how she was feeling.

Visiting hours at the hospital were finally over, even though Charlie had persuaded the staff to let them all stay a little past the allotted time, eventually they all had to leave. The problem was what to do about Jake. There was nowhere for him to stay in the hospital, and Charlie didn't want him left alone. He would have had Billy's son stay with him, but both he and Billy were worried about Jake and Bella spending more time together than they already had. It concerned them to see how intimate their children were with each other, they had always had a touchy feely friendship, but now it was being taken to the extreme. When Charlie came out of Billy's room and found Jake with his head resting on Bella's lap and her hand stroking his hair, he had decided it would be best to separate them. He called Sue and asked if Jake could crash at her place until the next day as Billy didn't want his son in the house alone.

As for Bella she was still supposed to be engaged to Edward. Charlie wasn't sure whether she was planning to head to the Cullen's, and was relieved when she headed home with him instead. They dropped Jake at the Clearwater's first and Charlie's worst fears were realised when he saw how distraught Jake was to leave Bella. The boy was actually shaking as if he was going to come apart. It took a lot of soothing from his daughter, and a firm promise that she wasn't going to Edward, that he let Sue and her daughter, Leah, lead him into the house. On the short journey back to Forks, Bella had remained white faced and tight lipped, refusing to talk about Jake's overreaction. Once inside the house she pleaded tiredness and headed straight for bed.

* * *

Bella lay wide awake staring at the ceiling above her. She had dressed in an old pair of sweats and a t-shirt and retired to bed. Her mind was too full of anxiety to let her rest. She was thinking about Jake, was deeply worried about him in fact. Jake had never been clingy before. In all the time he had been fighting for her love he had never looked so vulnerable and downright sad. It was as if his strength had been drained from him. She had been worried that he was going to phase, he had been shaking so badly when she tried to say goodbye. She could see Sue and Leah were anxious too. Luckily Jake had calmed down enough when she had reassured him she wasn't planning on going back to the Cullen's for the night. What was she going to do? She fretted for a long time.

As midnight drew near she saw her curtains part a little and a silent shadowy figure enter her room. She wasn't scared she knew it was Edward, but a small part of her felt irritated he had just turned up unannounced without calling her first. Bella hid her annoyance and sat up, her long hair sweeping around her shoulders, concealing her troubled face. Edward came and sat on the bed beside her. He peered up so he could stare into her eyes with his own. His intense stare made her uncomfortable, and not for the first time she was glad he couldn't read her mind.

"I was hoping you would have come home, love." Edward said softly when she didn't speak. He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. Bella flinched a little from his cold touch. It had taken her by surprise. She saw hurt flash in his eyes.

"I am home." She replied unthinkingly.

Edward frowned a little. "This was your home, but not anymore. Your home is with me." He reminded her.

"Of course, I'm sorry." Bella apologised and forced a smile onto her face. "Put it down to tiredness."

"Yes." Edward returned her smile indulgently. "You need your rest." He stroked her face again and this time Bella managed to remain still. "You lie down and I'll hold you." He reached out and picked up the blanket he used to wrap around Bella's body in order to stave off the chill from his skin when he lay next to her. But to his surprise Bella shook her head. "Bella?"

"Not tonight, Edward. I'm just…it's been a long day. You understand, don't you?" She put her hand over his and begged him with her eyes for his co-operation.

"If that's what you feel you need, then of course I will abide by your wishes." Edward stood up, his expression formal. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yes." Bella watched him lean forward and kiss her gently on the lips. She stiffened slightly but kept her cool as he whispered his love for her before slipping silently out of the window.

* * *

Bella felt guilty about pushing Edward away. She could see in his eyes that he was hurt by her lack of enthusiasm when he arrived. But her head was too full of worry about Jake to dwell on Edward's sorrow for too long. She would make it up to him; she had an eternity to do that. This thought made her pause and she lifted her left hand to stare at the huge engagement ring on her ring finger. It was very weighty, and nothing like she would have chosen for herself. It belonged to Edward's mother, so there was no way she could refuse to wear it or change it for something less old fashioned. He would have been upset if she had done that, and there was nothing worse to Bella than seeing Edward in pain. It was easier to just go along with what he wanted then try to argue her point.

She twisted the ring round and round on her finger agitatedly. Deep down she knew why she had pushed Edward to leave, it was because she had a feeling that Jake was going to come and see her. He had been so het up when she had left him at the Clearwater's. The last thing she wanted was for him to turn up in the middle of the night only to see Edward lying on her bed next to her. She had promised him she wouldn't see Edward, and she didn't want to be seen going back on her word.

It was two in the morning and Bella was finally drifting off to sleep when she heard a slight tap on her bedroom window. It startled her a little, and she had to put a hand over her mouth to stifle her cry. There was another tap, along with the sound of her name being whispered. "Bells?"

It was Jake. Bella slid off the bed, hurried over to the window, and parted the curtains. He was perched precariously on the topmost branches of the tree which grew outside her window. Edward must have closed it after he left. Bella pushed it up and Jake caught hold of the sill and pulled himself through the opening and into the room. As soon as his feet hit the floor he reached out and grabbed Bella into a bear hug. Almost as soon as he held her he let her go, sending Bella's senses reeling. "He's been here." He cursed.

Bella sighed; of course he could smell Edward. She pushed her hair out of her eyes and studied him carefully. He was trembling a little, a sure sign he was having trouble containing his wolf. She carefully touched his arm and stroked his skin with her fingers, the same electric sparks vibrating between them. "He was here." She admitted. "But I sent him away."

Her words made Jake relax. His shoulders drooped a little and he allowed her to take his hand and lead him over toward the bed. "I'm sorry, Bells. I shouldn't be here. I just couldn't rest. I just… I don't know anymore." He sat on the edge of the bed and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. He put his head in his hands to hide his expression from her. He seemed so lost and it hurt Bella to see him like this. His pain was her pain.

"It's okay, Jake. It's just me you know." Bella placed her hand on his shoulder and massaged the tension away. "I'm here for you. Talk if you want to talk, and if you don't then we'll just sit together." She smiled at him tentatively as he raised his head and rewarded her with a small smile of his own.

"How do you know me so well, Bells?" Jake whispered as he twisted round and took her hand in his own. He recoiled though when he felt her huge ring press into his palm. He dropped her hand as if it was tainted. "That thing is so fucking hideous."

Bella swallowed thickly and turned her head away. She hid her hand in her lap and refused to look at him when he apologised again. "I'm sorry." He leaned in close, his warm breath washing over her. "I don't know what I'm saying half the time. It's just seeing that thing, it hurts you know."

"I know." Bella whispered, still refusing to look at him. She stared at the ring instead and began to twist it around and around, the diamonds glittered as they caught the light from the bedside lamp. "I hate hurting you, Jake. I hate it."

"I wish I could erase every trace of him." Jake blurted out suddenly. "I hate the fact that your skin smells like him. I hate it that he's touched you. I want to wrap my body around you so that you have my scent instead. I want to kiss you and take away the taste of him on your lips…" He put his fingers under Bella's chin and forced her head up so she had to look into his expressive dark eyes. They were full of pain and despair.

"Jake, I am so sorry." Bella felt the familiar tears well in her eyes. The ring felt heavier on her finger than ever and without realising what she was doing she slid it off and held it in the palm of her hand.

Jacob stared at her for a moment before he grabbed the ring and flung it across the room. It hit the wall and fell onto the floor out of sight. Bella was stunned by his actions, but was too mesmerised by the intense look on his face to get up and retrieve it. "He doesn't own you, Bells. He doesn't. You don't belong with him, you know that." His other hand reached up and cupped her cheek and he began to stroke her skin with his warm fingers. The undercurrent of electricity vibrated between them and Jake leaned in closer, his lips hovering above Bella's. Her eyes flicked to his mouth and she had a sudden urge to lean in and close the gap between them. Their breaths mingled together as she closed her eyes and inclined her mouth closer to his…

"No." Jake cursed. He dropped his hand from Bella's face and sat back. Bella opened her eyes and looked at him in confusion.

Suddenly her bedroom door was thrust open and the room was flooded with light as Charlie switched on the overhead light. "I knew I heard voices." He snapped. "What the hell is going on here?" He glared at Jake and Bella, his eyes flicking between them.

_**A/N-thank you for reading!**_


	5. Chapter 5

**A Matter of the Heart **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the kind reviews. Nikki **_

**Part Four-Toxic**

Charlie ran a hand through his greying hair as he looked at his daughter and Jacob sitting together on the sofa in front of him. He was at a loss what to say. How had Jake even got to his house in the middle of the night? He was only partially clothed and was wearing no shoes. At first Charlie had expected to see his clothes scattered on the floor, but there was no sign of any. It really did seem as if Billy's son had turned up at his house in the middle of the night wearing only a pair of cut off sweats.

"Dad, I know what this looks like…" Bella began when her father didn't say anything. He was staring at them intently as if trying to work out an unsolvable puzzle.

"You know, Bella. I have no idea what this is." Charlie gestured between the two of them. His eyes travelled to Jake, who was holding onto Bella's hand as if she was suddenly going to disappear right before his eyes. His agitation was obvious, and from the way Bella was nervously fidgeting it looked like Jake's anxieties were infecting her as well. This intensity between them was doing neither of them any good. "How did you get here, Jake?" Charlie asked him. "I didn't hear any car and why are you only half dressed? It's freezing out there."

"I walked." Jake mumbled, averting his eyes from the older man and looking at his bare feet which were covered in dirt.

"You walked from La Push in the middle of the night? Do you even realise how crazy that sounds?" Charlie was incredulous. "Why on earth would you do that?"

"I needed to see Bella." Jake closed his eyes briefly as he clutched Bella's hand tighter. He was angry at himself that he hadn't heard Charlie get up. He had been so focused on Bella, her smell, the look in her eyes and the way she so nearly came to kissing him. It must have been Cullen's hideous ring hitting the wall that disturbed Bella's father.

"To see Bella? You could have called, or waited until the next day." Charlie shook his head in disbelief. "What was so urgent that it couldn't wait?" He demanded. Jacob's explanation defied belief.

"Dad, please. Hasn't Jake been through enough?" Bella begged. She could feel Jake beginning to shake slightly and she was worried that he was losing control over himself.

Charlie sat in his recliner. He really didn't know how to deal with this. One thing that was blatantly obvious was how unhealthy this _friendship_ or whatever it was had become between his daughter and Jake. It wasn't just him that thought so, Sue and Billy did too. They were toxic together. With Bella engaged and about to marry another man, it had dragged Jake down. The boy's feelings were obvious. He was deeply in love with Bella, perhaps she loved Jake too in her own way, but being in his life one moment and then running off to Cullen was doing Jake no good. They needed to be separated.

"I'm sorry, Charlie." Jake apologised as he exchanged a glance with Bella. He was having trouble reading the older man and was beginning to get ever more anxious. There was no reasonable excuse he could make without sounding crazy. He hoped that by saying sorry it would deflect Charlie's irritation and hopefully persuade him to let it go.

Charlie studied him intently for a moment. Jake looked so much older than his years. He was seventeen now, but could easily pass for twenty five. He was so tall and muscular. Charlie knew for a fact Jake didn't work out, there were no weights in his house, and he had often wondered lately whether he could be taking steroids. That would explain the mood swings. His friends were just as big built as he was; perhaps it was a group thing. Charlie had been meaning to bring it up with Billy, but his sudden collapse had made it impossible. "You've put me in an impossible situation, Jake." Charlie finally said. "You are like family to me, you know that. Which means I worry about you as much as Bella."

Jake swallowed thickly and increased his tight hold on Bella's hand. He could feel her stroking the sensitive skin on his arm and it calmed him a little. He could see that Charlie noticed too, and it seemed to make him even more worried. "I know that, and I'm grateful. Life has been tough lately. I've missed Bella….you're right though I should have waited."

"I don't like doing this son." Charlie stood and picked up the keys to his cruiser which were lying in a dish on the table. "But I am going to take you back to Sue's. I think it would be best if you both stayed away from each other for a while…." He put up his hand when Jake and Bella began to protest. "Billy thinks it's best too." He pointed out.

"When was this discussed?" Jake's anger began to boil over. He stood up too, dragging Bella up with him as he still had a tight grip on her hand.

"Jake, please calm down." Bella paled as she noticed the slight tremor in his arm. He was losing control again. Running as a wolf for so long seemed to have had a knock on effect on his ability to keep his wolf at bay. Any little thing was setting him off.

Unaware of his daughter's worries, Charlie stood his ground. "We didn't come to this decision lightly, but we had quite a good discussion earlier tonight. Billy is very concerned about you, Jake. Running away like that really scared your father. He didn't know where you were. I put up missing posters everywhere dammit. This can't happen again. Your dad's health is at stake here." He took in a deep breath to calm his own temper. "I understand how you feel about Bells…" He saw Jake glance at his daughter, there was fear in his dark eyes, which only confirmed Charlie's suspicions that this relationship between them was very unhealthy. "But for all intents and purposes she is engaged, and this is what sent you running in the first place. That has not changed as far as I am aware…" He turned his attention to Bella who had gone completely white. "Bella?"

"I don't know anything. I need to speak to Edward. I don't…Jake?" Bella felt the tremors rippling through his arm and into her as she mentioned Edward's name. The hurt and anxiety on his face was heart breaking to see, and she could see that Charlie noticed too. She had done this to him. She should never have come to the hospital to see him. It was the worst thing she could have done. It had made it all that much harder, and shoved them back into the same cycle of hope and rejection. Bella sensed her father's regrets too. It had been his silent urging that had made her ditch her wedding to support Jake.

"Jake." Charlie said warily as he saw Bella wince. Jake's hold had increased on her hand and he was hurting her with his strong grip. "Let Bella go."

Jake suddenly seemed aware of what he had done. He dropped Bella's hand and stepped away from her, his face stricken. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He begged her to forgive him with his eyes.

Bella felt his pain. She couldn't stand it, couldn't bear for him to feel so much unhappiness. "No, I'm the one who's sorry." She flung herself bodily at him and wrapped her thin arms around him, trying to say with her touch what she couldn't put into words.

Charlie was stunned as he watched Jacob wrap his strong arms around her and hide his face in the crook of her neck. They both fell to their knees and began to cry.

* * *

Charlie was sitting at the table, the local paper in his hand as he pretended to read it. He took a sip of his black coffee and glanced at the clock. It was now six am. He hadn't slept at all, not since he had witnessed the breakdown between his daughter and Jake. They had cried for a long time, both of them holding onto each other for dear life. Charlie had just watched the helplessly, unable to decide whether to intervene or leave them alone. In the end he had decided on the latter. He had walked out of the room quietly and come into the kitchen. This was something private between them; he didn't know what it meant, or what was going to happen now. Perhaps it was their last heart-breaking goodbye. He didn't know. It had been hard to witness, and quite frankly scared the crap out of him. He had never loved that deeply. He had been upset when Renee took off, but nothing like what he had seen between Jake and Bella. They had eventually fallen asleep where they had fallen, encased in each other's arms.

Bella was the first to wake; she came into the kitchen to find Charlie sitting at the table, a resigned look on his face. Her eyes were red rimmed from all the crying and her head was aching. "I've just boiled the kettle if you want to make a coffee." Charlie said softly.

"Thank you." Bella turned toward the counter and made her coffee in contemplative silence. She then pulled out a chair and sat opposite her father, her hands wrapped around the hot mug of coffee. "I'm sorry about last night. I…" She shrugged helplessly.

"Jake still asleep?" Charlie asked as he shook his paper and folded it up.

"Yes. He's tuckered out." Bella sipped her coffee. The warm liquid felt soothing as it slid down her throat.

"Bella, do you love Jake?" Charlie's blunt question took her by surprise and she raised her head and stared at him, unable to answer for a moment. "Well do you?"

"Yes." Bella's voice was faint as she clutched the mug tightly. She was surprised it didn't shatter in her hands.

"And you love _him_ too?" Even now Charlie couldn't say Edward's name. He kept his brown eyes trained on his daughter. He saw the guilt cloud her face and he sighed heavily. "Jake is young, Bella. You all are. This three way situation cannot go on. You have to let Jake go for good. Keeping him close when he wants so much more is killing him."

A single tear rolled down Bella's face as two red spots burned on her cheeks. "I miss him." She whispered. "I feel torn in half; I feel…I feel…"

"Bells." Charlie put his hand over hers. "Why on earth are you getting married when you are this conflicted? I thought you knew what you wanted, but after seeing you and Jake together, I can see I had it all wrong."

More tears leaked out of Bella's already sore eyes. "I thought I had it all worked out. I was so sure…but now Jake's back, I don't know. I don't know anything." She laughed bitterly. "I always thought it was only possible to love one person."

Charlie frowned. "You mean that you think you are in love with both?" His harsh tone startled Bella and she flinched. "That's utter bullshit, kiddo. You can desire both but not love." He stood up and threw the rest of his coffee in the sink. "Like I said, Bells, cut Jake loose. What you are doing isn't fair to him or to you. It will kill you both in the end and I don't want to see either of you suffer anymore." He put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to take a shower." He left the room silently leaving Bella feeling perplexed and a little frightened.

* * *

The journey to the hospital was made in silence. Charlie drove the cruiser while Bella and Jake sat in the back. Jake was leaning his head on Bella's shoulder and had his eyes closed. Charlie couldn't tell what he was thinking. As for Bella she was staring out of the window, her brow was furrowed as if she was trying to see her future in the glass.

_**A/N-thank you for reading! **_


	6. Chapter 6

**A Matter of the Heart **

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the kind reviews. Nikki **_

**Part Five-An Intervention**

When they arrived at the hospital they were surprised to see Sam already there, along with Paul and Jared. Jacob greeted them tiredly, not really comprehending why they were there. Bella felt as if something was up. Paul and Jared seemed a little edgy; although Sam wore his usual stoical expression she could detect a hint of worry in his eyes. Jacob seemed unaware of any of this. He was still emotionally exhausted from his breakdown the previous night. He held tightly onto Bella's hand as he towed her toward his father's room. Charlie stayed behind to have a quiet word with Sam, which only enhanced Bella's suspicions that something wasn't quite right. However she kept quiet. She was concerned that Jake couldn't take any more pressure.

Billy was awake and eating some cereal when they entered his room. He pulled a face and showed them his bowl of muesli. "They're insisting I eat this rabbit food." He complained irritably. "As if a red blooded man can survive on this?" He spooned some into his mouth and grimaced.

"It's good for you." Jacob flopped down into the only chair and tried to pull Bella onto his lap, but she avoided this happening by letting go of his hand and striding over to the small bedside cabinet so she could pour Billy some fresh orange juice. Jacob seemed hurt that she had turned away from him and his dark eyes followed her about the room as she averted her own and kept her attention on Billy.

"Drink this." Bella offered the glass of juice to Billy. "This will take the taste away." She took Billy's bowl and watched as he drained the glass.

"Thank you, Bella. You're a good girl." Billy smiled at her weakly before looking over at his son. "Could you do me a favour, Jake?" He asked.

Jake glanced up at him, finally tearing his eyes away from Bella. "Yeah, what do you need?" He sat up straighter in his chair, one hand running through his messy hair.

"I'm still hungry." Billy replied. "Go to the canteen and get your old man some real food, huh?" He gave the half empty bowl of muesli another disgusted glance before reaching out for his wallet and passing some money over to Jake.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Jake said dubiously as he took the money. "The nurses wouldn't have given you…"

"Come on, Jake." Billy wheedled. "You know what's good for me and what's not. You choose, anything, as long as it's not more muesli."

"Alright." Jake sighed, before leaving the room he locked eyes with Bella. "You are staying here, right?"

"Where else would I go?" Bella swallowed the lump in her throat as he held her gaze for a moment before reluctantly departing for the canteen

Bella didn't know what to do with herself now. She had no idea what was taking her father so long. She assumed he would be here by now. She felt uncomfortable under Billy's scrutinising gaze, especially as she knew what he and Charlie had discussed the day before. "I'm glad we're alone now, Bella." Billy's voice startled her. "Take a seat. I have something I need to say before Jake gets back."

_Here it comes_, Bella thought as she retreated to the only chair and perched on the edge nervously. She placed her hands in her lap in order to stop them shaking. "What is it?" She asked, although it was obvious what Billy was going to say, probably an echo of what Charlie had said that morning.

"You know I think of you as family, don't you?" Billy began. Bella's heart sunk, people only said that when they were about to tell you the opposite. "But I have to think of Jake's welfare." He cleared his throat before continuing. "I know you can see how fragile emotionally my son is right now."

Bella nodded.

"And it worries me. Jake was a mess when he received the invitation to your wedding. You weren't there that day. I had never seen him so angry and upset. It was like getting it in print brought it home to him that you were really out of his life for good." Billy sighed. He seemed to have difficulty in saying what he needed to. "You have to let Jake go, Bella." He looked directly at her as he spoke. "I know you think you are supporting him right now, but in reality you are just making things worse. You are marrying another and I presume you intend to go ahead with your plans?"

Bella flinched. He was referring to her change. Marrying into the Cullen family meant she was destined to become one of them at some point. She didn't know how to answer Billy. Her mind was a welter of confusion. What had been so certain only a few days ago, now seemed unthinkable? Something had shifted within her. She couldn't pinpoint when it had happened, but seeing Jake again after spending so many months without him had brought all her old feelings for him back to the forefront of her mind. Bella knew she had been suppressing them while he was gone, trying instead to focus on Edward and the wedding as a distraction for her unhappiness at the loss of her best friend.

Billy was still waiting for an answer. He could see the myriad of emotions crossing Bella's pretty face as she tried to find the best way to answer him. "Bella?" He prompted.

"I'm confused. I don't know what I feel or what I intend to do." Bella raised her brown eyes to his and begged for his understanding. "I am so conflicted. I care for Jake deeply…l…love him. But then there's Edward…" Her voice tailed off when she saw the lack of empathy on Billy's face.

"I am sorry but I need to be blunt here, Bella. My son's emotional wellbeing is at stake. I am asking you to stay away from Jake, for both of your sakes. This friendship or whatever it is between you is not healthy right now. Jake needs peace and order in his life. This back and forth with you is dragging him down. I know you think you are supporting him, but your actions are doing the opposite. On one hand you are giving him hope that you are changing your mind and on the other you are making him an emotional wreck because he is so damn terrified if he lets you out of his sight you are going to disappear and become his mortal enemy. That is no way for any man to live, and I won't have it." Billy stated harshly.

Bella shrank back from his verbal onslaught. She had never seen Billy so fierce. Normally he was such a laid back character, but seeing his son pushed to the edge emotionally had taken its toll on him. Tears began to pool in her eyes, and her heart raced in her chest. She knew part of what he said was right, but he wasn't in her head or Jake's. No one had any idea of how they both felt or how they both suffered. The thought of saying goodbye to Jake permanently made her feel ill. Her face turned white and she felt as if she was going to be sick. It had nearly destroyed her the first time she had turned away from him, the day after the newborn battle when he had been lying broken in his bed, and she had to tell him there was no chance for them. She had left his house an emotional basket case, crying as if her heart would shatter into a million pieces. Edward had been witness to her despair and even he had questioned the validity of her decision, but she had been adamant it was for the best…that was until now.

"I can't, I don't know if I can." Bella choked out, her tears finally leaking from her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. "I need him."

Billy felt guilt as he watched her cry, but he wouldn't allow himself to be swayed by her tears. He had to stay strong. "If you really care about Jake's welfare and if you love him as you say you do, then let him go so he can move on. Please Bella; it is the fair thing to do."

Bella gave up all pretence of being in control. Nausea welled up in her gut and she ran for the en-suite bathroom and threw up.

* * *

Jake came back from the canteen with a few healthy food snacks. There hadn't been a lot of choice and he had just bought what he could. He found Sam, Jared and Paul now standing outside his father's room. As he approached he could hear Bella sobbing and Charlie's concerned voice as he tried to console her. What the hell had happened while he was gone? Had his father…he didn't finish the thought, he dropped the food on the floor and sprinted for the room, but before he could get through the door, Sam and the others blocked his path.

"What the fuck, Sam?" Jake raged at his Alpha, he tried to shove past him, but Paul and Jared caught hold of his arms and pulled him back. "Let go of me." He roared as he tried to fight them.

"Jake, calm down." The timbre of Sam's voice changed as he issued an Alpha command on his pack brother.

Jake's shoulders slumped and he became still as he shot Sam a resentful glance. It was tearing him up hearing Bella cry. His dad was speaking now which meant he was okay. Why was Bella in such a state? "Let me go inside the room." He said coolly.

"No Jake." Sam didn't flinch as Jake glared at him darkly. He crossed his arms defensively across his chest.

"Why not?" Jake spat, he was getting tired of Sam's cryptic answers. Whatever his Alpha was planning he didn't give a shit. He just wanted to get into the room to see Bella. Her sobbing had quietened and he could hear Charlie telling her it was for the best. What did he mean by that? A chill ran down his spine and his heart constricted in his chest. Adrenaline surged through him as he tore his arms out of his brother's hold and shoved Sam to one side. Sam may be Alpha, but Jake was taller and stronger.

"Jacob stop." Sam ordered. His command was a little late. Jake had already entered the room. His eyes were riveted on Bella, who was sitting in the only chair in the room shaking. Sam, Paul and Jared came into the room too and surrounded him defensively.

"Bella." Jacob held out his hand to her, but she didn't take it. Her eyes darted to her father and then to Billy, before finally returning to him. "What is going on?" He tried to keep control, but his emotions were on a knife edge, and his wolf was clawing to get out. A big part of him wanted to flee and let his wolf take over, he wouldn't have to feel then, he wouldn't have to live through what he sensed was coming.

Bella was frozen and couldn't speak. Her mouth refused to open and form the words of rejection. She stared at Jake helplessly, her eyes shimmering under the bright lights with pain and fear. Charlie hunkered down by his daughter's side and put his arms around her. Bella leaned into him heavily.

"I need to take Bells home now." Charlie couldn't bear to see her struggle anymore. He hadn't been completely happy about this intervention, and as far as he was concerned it had all gone completely wrong. In his mind it should have been done in private, but for some bizarre reason Billy had insisted that he wanted Sam and the others there. Charlie had no idea about Jake's wolf side, and how dangerous he could be, especially at the moment.

"Why now?" Jake demanded. He glanced at his father; Billy had a resolute expression on his face. He didn't back away from his son's angry glare.

"It is better this way, Jake." Billy said gently. "You and Bella need time apart. I feel…we all feel," he corrected himself. "That because of what has gone on recently that you both are not in a good place to be around each other right now. Please understand we only say this because we care and worry about you both."

Jake tore his eyes away from Billy's and returned his attention back to Bella. "You agreed to this?" He asked her. His whole demeanour screamed hurt and betrayal.

Bella pushed her father's arms away from her and stood up. She felt on the verge of collapse. She hated everyone looking at her; she hated being the cause of Jake's pain yet again. She hated herself and she wanted to run. Whenever her emotions got the better of her, Bella would give into her flight instinct, and that is what she did now. She fled the room, her vision blurry with tears. Jake shot everyone in the room a defiant stare as he began to chase after her, until Sam stopped him with one more command.

"Stay right where you are Jake."

Jake skidded to a halt, his whole body shaking. He turned his head to stare at Sam, his eyes were coal black and full of anger. "You have no power over me." He muttered so only his brothers could hear. With those parting words he left.

_**A/N-thanks for reading! **_


	7. Chapter 7

**A Matter of the Heart**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the kind reviews. Nikki **_

**Part Six-Road Trip**

Jacob found Bella standing alone in a little annexe. She was hunched over, her hands covering her face as she cried silent tears. The anger that he had felt consuming him when he had defied Sam's Alpha command drifted away as he saw the state of her. She was ripping herself to shreds, and he knew his inability to live without her was at the root of it. He mentally shuddered as this thought passed through his mind. He knew his father and his brothers blamed Bella for his deep unhappiness, but Jake knew that he was responsible for that alone. He had been fighting for Bella's love for so long that he had been ignoring the impact this was having on her. He had no doubt that she loved him, but it was the type of love that was the problem. He didn't want her to choose him because of guilt or peer pressure. He wanted her to be with him because she loved only him.

Jake approached her cautiously, worried that if he scooped Bella up into his arms like he wanted to do, she would recoil from him and try to bolt. "Bells." He whispered her name and gently put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Bella raised her head, her hands dropping to her sides. Her eyes which were already sore from the constant crying shimmered with the pain and guilt she was holding inside. "I don't know what to do, Jake. I don't know what to do. I always end up hurting you, no matter what I do. I should let you go, but I can't. I feel sick inside at the thought of never seeing you again." She took a deep shuddering breath. "All the time you were gone I kept holding onto the last promise you made me. Do you remember?"

How could he forget? He dredged up the memory of the last time they saw each other when he had been lying injured in his room. She had finally admitted she loved him, but just not enough, never enough. She loved the fucking bloodsucker more, and couldn't let go. Her admission had been both a blessing and a curse. Yes he had been right, she was in love with him too, but her love was not strong enough to overcome whatever damage the vamps had done to her. To make things easier he had promised that he would love her even if she turned. "Maybe even then…" He had seen the faint hope in her eyes as he let the words slip out of his traitorous mouth. It was all true, all of it. He would love her whatever form she took, human or vampire. Because unlike Cullen and even Bella herself, he loved her for who she was inside.

"Jake." Bella murmured his name, pulling him back into the moment. "Do you remember?" Her lower lip trembled as she repeated the question.

"I remember." Jake watched her face pale as she took a few more deep breaths. "I said maybe even then."

"Did you mean it?" Bella held her breath as she watched the agony cross his face. The memory was not a pleasant one, but something inside pushed her to find out if he had really meant what he said. "Did you?"

The word was torn from Jake's throat as he answered. "Yes."

* * *

Jake heard his brothers come out of the hospital as they searched for him. To others they would be silent but to Jake's trained ears their footfalls sounded loud. He twisted his head round, the hand he had on Bella's shoulder tightening as he tried to track their movements. He didn't want to be found. There was no way he was going to cave into Billy and the others demands. This was between him and Bella. He wanted to get her alone so they could talk, talk properly without others shoving their own opinions into the mix and making it that much more difficult. He wanted to get her away from Cullen and his family too. Jake was convinced that Bella was being manipulated unwittingly by Edward's charms. He had seen the difference in her during those few months when all they had was each other. When Cullen came back into her life, it was like Bella had become a shadow of her former self. She acted like a well-trained mannequin around them. She looked like Bella, smelt like Bella, but it was as if she was an imposter.

Bella watched Jake's face carefully. His eyes were narrowed and his nostrils dilated as if he was listening avidly to something she couldn't hear. She was so well tuned to his emotions that she guessed he was trying to pinpoint where his brothers were. She put her hand over his and immediately his eyes travelled back to hers. "Are they close?" She whispered.

Jake jerked his head quickly. He curled his fingers around hers and began to pull her in the opposite direction of the hospital. Bella didn't say another word as she followed him willingly.

* * *

They travelled this way for the next twenty minutes. Jake would stop, listen intently, sometimes inhaling deeply as he played cat and mouse with his brothers. Bella never heard or saw a thing; she had to rely completely on Jake to keep them away from Sam and the others. They drifted closer and closer toward the Swan house and after another tense half an hour passed they were right outside. Jake turned toward the red Chevy which was parked in the drive. Bella hadn't driven it for weeks. Edward had insisted on giving her one of the Cullen's expensive luxury cars, a Mercedes S600 Guardian. It was built like a tank and hadn't even been sold to the public yet. Bella had been embarrassed to drive the thing as it attracted so much unwanted attention, but Edward had insisted upon it. He wanted her safe, and letting her drive this eased his mind.

"We need to get on the road." Jake towed Bella toward the house. "Go inside and get the keys." He pointed to the truck.

Bella hesitated. "Where are we going?" She wanted to escape the others too, but taking off in her old truck was taking it a bit far.

Jake frowned. "Just go inside and get the keys, Bells. Sam and the others are close. I can sense them. Go." He said urgently as he ushered her toward the house.

Bella fumbled with her house keys, her heart racing madly in her chest. Despite the bizarre circumstances she had to admit this was the first time she had felt so alive in months. She didn't have time to ponder this revelation as Jake was warning her to hurry. She quickly grabbed the keys to the Chevy which were hanging on a hook near the door and hurried back over to him. She was surprised she didn't stumble once. It must have something to do with the unaccustomed adrenaline surging through her body.

Jake snatched the keys from her and opened the truck, literally picking her up and shoving her in the passenger seat all in one fell swoop. Bella held onto the dash as he joined her in the cab and switched on the engine. It rumbled to life, startling her with how loud it sounded. It had been so long since she had driven the truck. Jake quickly backed out of the drive and swivelled the truck around as he headed out onto the open road. As they roared away, the engine whining all the way as Jake floored the accelerator; Bella thought she saw three shadowy figures standing beneath the trees surrounding her house. She jumped again when Jake let out a loud whoop, his hands letting go of the steering wheel as he laughed loudly in triumph. The truck swerved, narrowly avoiding sliding into the verge, but Jake quickly grabbed the wheel again, correcting its course. He turned to look at Bella and grinned at her as she stared at him as if she had never seen him before.

* * *

"Where are we going?" Bella asked after a while as the miles flashed by. They had been driving aimlessly for the last two hours. She began to worry about her dad and Billy. She was feeling guilty about taking off without a word. She remembered how upset Charlie had been when he had thought she had run away before.

"I have no fucking idea." Jacob shrugged as he stared straight ahead.

Bella kept quiet for a moment. She glanced at him covertly, trying to read his intentions. Since his elation at escaping his brothers, his mood had darkened again. He was frowning, one hand gripping the steering wheel, the other holding onto her. She didn't know what to do. Part of her felt like him, she wanted to drive, drive somewhere far away so she could escape her problems. Put off for another few days the decision she was going to be forced to make regarding her future. But the rational part of her knew this was an impossible wish. Bella had tried being reckless once and it had nearly killed her. "We have to go back." She said softly.

Jake's whole body tensed at her words. He glanced at her; his dark eyes were filled with anger. "Why?"

"We can't run." Bella hated seeing the panic flash across his face.

"I have spent my whole damn life doing what was expected of me." Jake said bitterly. "So yes I can run again if I want. I am owed some time." He stared her straight in the eyes as he hammered his next point home. "You owe me some of your time. I want to be alone with you, with no interruptions. After all the fucking bloodsucker gets an eternity."

Bella sucked in a deep breath. His words were like a slap in the face. She sank lower in her seat, her nails digging into her palms as she tried to control her wayward emotions. This was a side of Jake she hadn't seen before, a more hardened bitter version of himself. Running so long as a wolf had changed him, she could sense the Alpha force coming to the fore. It was written all over him, the way he spoke, the way he carried himself, and the almost feral edge he had about him now. She had recognised the same traits in the others, especially Paul and Sam, but now it was becoming stronger in Jake. Whatever ambivalence he had felt about becoming a wolf and running with the pack had left him now. He had embraced it, and was no longer willing to be ruled by anyone but himself.

"Well?" Jake glanced at her again when she didn't answer.

"Yes, I owe you." Bella choked out.

Jake relaxed a little. He slowed down and pulled into a gas station. "We need to fill up." He paused for a moment. "Do you have any money?"

Bella nodded. "I have a credit card." It was Edward's. He had given it to her in case of emergencies. It had limitless credit attached to it.

"I take it the bloodsucker gave that to you." He sneered. "How ironic that he'll be the one to pay for our little road trip? Do you know the pin?" Bella nodded. "Well there's a cashpoint over there, draw out as much as you can. I don't want the leech tracking us down by following our credit trail." He slipped out of the cab and began to fill up the truck with gas.

* * *

Bella called her father at the gas station. He asked her a torrent of questions and it was a few moments before she could get him to quieten down. "Jake and I are going away for a few days."

"You are joking, Bella. Get home right now." Charlie ordered. He was beyond angry that they had both taken off like that. Billy was upset when Jake couldn't be found and he was panicking he had taken off again.

Bella closed her eyes. She felt so consumed with guilt but on the other hand she knew she and Jake needed this. They needed some time away to confront whatever this was between them. "I can't do that, dad. I'm sorry. I promise you we'll be back in a few days. Please trust me."

"Trust you." Charlie huffed. "How can I trust you when you keep making these insane decisions? And what about your so called fiancé?"

Bella winced when he brought up Edward. The next call was going to be to him and she was dreading it. "Please dad. I have to go. Look out for Billy and tell him we will be back soon. We need to do this." Before Charlie could protest anymore Bella put the phone down. She felt Jake come up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. "He's angry and rightly so." She muttered.

"We need this, Bells." Jacob's tone was softer now. He had wondered whether she would even go through with it, and it had eased some of his hurt when she had not reneged on her promise to give him some time.

"I need to call Edward now and let him know I will be gone for a few days." Bella picked up the payphone again but Jacob put his hand over hers and pushed it back in its cradle. "What are you doing?" She looked up at him in confusion. She could feel the underlying electric charge sparking between them at his touch and it both repelled and drew her to him.

"Let the leech stew for a few days. Come on." Jake stared her down until she shoved him away and marched out of the gas station.

"Fine." She yelled at him over her shoulder.

Jake could tell she was pissed. It had been such a long time since he had seen Bella's fiery side. "Welcome back, honey." He said under his breath as he followed after her.

_**A/N-thank you for reading! **_


	8. Chapter 8

**A Matter of the Heart **

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the kind reviews. Nikki **_

**Part Seven-A Moment in Time**

"Can I take your order?" The waitress pulled a pencil from behind her ear as she feasted her eyes on Jacob. Bella thought the woman was practically salivating. She cleared her throat irritably to gain the woman's attention, but the waitress ignored her and focused all her attention on Jacob, who was still flipping through the menu. "I haven't seen you around here before? Visiting?" She asked him.

"Excuse me I have an order." Bella said testily. She could see the flicker of amusement in Jake's eyes and it only pissed her off more. He was enjoying the attention, in fact had been at every stop they had made so far whether it was to eat or fill up the truck with gas. If there were any females within hailing distance you could guarantee they flocked to Jake like moths to a flame.

The waitress sighed heavily as she forced her eyes to leave Jacob's inviting six pack and focus instead on the skinny girl sitting opposite him. "Yes?" She arched an eyebrow and waited impatiently for Bella to speak.

"Thank you." Bella took a deep breath as she tried to contain the green eyed monster which was trying to break free from her chest. Yes, Jake may turn into a wolf, but Bella was certain now that she had her own equivalent inside her body, fighting to surface at moments such as these. "I want the salad, and he'll have the mac and cheese with a side order of fries…"

"Make that two." Jacob put the menu down and smiled ingratiatingly at the waitress, who nearly swooned at the sudden attention he was giving her.

"Sure thing, sugar." The waitress winked at Jake as she scribbled down his order, she then none too discreetly wrote her number down and placed it in Jake's open palm as he passed the menu back to her. "I get off at eight, if you fancy more congenial company." She glanced at Bella meaningfully before sashaying off.

Bella's mouth dropped open. Had that just really happened? She was livid. Bella glared at Jake as he began to laugh at her irritated expression. "Oh come on, Bells. It's quite funny when you think about it." He reached across the table that separated them and flashed her an indulgent smile. "She has nothing on you, honey."

Bella snatched her hand back before he could take it. She wasn't in the mood for teasing. In fact she wasn't in the mood for anything. They had been on the road for a day and a half and today's debacle had only served to make her regret her hasty decision to come with him. So much for spending quality time together so they could talk. So far she had been forced to witness half the female population hitting on him right in front of her, and she could see he was lapping it up. It was as if he was deliberately trying to rile her by invoking her jealous side. But she wasn't jealous; she was just annoyed at herself for leaving her fiancé behind while she indulged her stupid best friend on this ridiculous adventure so he could wave the many phone numbers he had collected in her face.

"Earth to Bella." Jake waved his hand in front of her face, effectively pulling her out of her funk. "Where did you go?"

"Back home where I belong." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. She saw his face darkening and she rushed to apologise to him, but he resolutely ignored her. When the waitress returned with their order and a huge flirtatious smile, he grinned at the irritating woman and engaged her in a pathetic conversation which only made Bella wish to recant her earlier apology. "You know he was fleas." She blurted out to the waitress, effectively cutting their conversation short. "He's nothing but a dog." She stabbed her fork in her salad and gave him a triumphant stare.

Jacob matched her glare. "Ignore her, she prefers a cold Popsicle to a flesh and blood man."

The waitress flicked her eyes between them having no idea what was going on. They continued to snipe at each other as if she wasn't even there, and in the end she just walked away. "Your hanger on has gone." Bella ate her salad slowly as she watched Jake shrug nonchalantly.

"Who cares?" Jake bit into his burger and chewed it thoughtfully. It only took him four bites before he had consumed it completely. Bella would never get over his huge appetite. "You were jealous." He said mildly as he started on the second burger.

Bella snorted derisively. "As if?"

"You were jealous." Jake eyed her speculatively as he finished off the second burger and wiped his mouth on one of the paper napkins. "Why?"

"Why what?" Bella refused to look at him as she pushed her salad away. She had suddenly lost her appetite.

"Don't play words games, Bells. Why are you jealous? What do you care if another woman shows an interest in me? You're supposed to be happily engaged to another man." He grimaced. "If you can call Cullen a man that is."

"Stop it." Bella snapped indignantly. "Stop calling Edward names. He is not here to defend himself." She stood up suddenly and grabbed the cheque. "I'm going to pay. No doubt you'll have stuffed the rest of that crap in by the time I'm done." Bella stalked off toward the cashier without looking back.

* * *

They were back on the road again. Neither of them had spoken for the last hour. Bella was deliberately turned away from Jake, staring out of the window as the miles dragged by. Jake kept his eyes trained on the road, refusing to apologise. Let her stew. The last couple of days had been extremely tense. Bella had been on edge, obviously worrying about not being in contact with the leech. This irked Jake considerably. He had wanted her full attention while they were alone, but no Cullen's ghost was still there, coming between them. Just thinking about the leech made him feel angry and resentful. Why couldn't Bella put him first for once? He was wasting his time with her; the little voice in the back of his head kept nagging at him. The voice sounded very much like his dad. Jake had called Billy the night before and apologised for taking off again without a word. The conversation had been tense, but eventually Billy had told him he just hoped he knew what he was doing. Jake had admitted he had no idea, but assured his father that they would return in a few days as promised.

After a few hours Jake pulled over to the side of the road in order to rest his eyes and stretch his legs. Bella had fallen asleep for a while, and when she felt the truck stop moving she jolted awake. "Where are we?" It was the first words either had spoken to each other and her voice sounded loud in the tense silence.

"On the road to nowhere." Jake said dully as he slipped out of the cab and leaned against the driver's door. He suddenly felt hopeless, as if everything he was trying to achieve was pointless. Bella was never going to change her mind. Yeah, he could play childish games and try to provoke her jealousy, it stroked his flagging ego a little to see her react, but in the end it meant nothing and they ended up full of resentment and right back to square one again.

Bella climbed out of the truck and hesitantly joined him. She could feel his hurt. The bitterness had left his face and he now looked defeated. She felt the same. Nothing had been resolved between them. Not like they had hoped. Instead they had spent the whole time away just arguing pointlessly and scoring points off of each other. Because in the end nothing had changed, she was engaged to Edward, she loved him, and she loved Jake too. Not for the first time she wished she could rip herself in two. She would give Jake the better part of herself, the part that wanted to remain human and explore a life with him, and the other half to Edward, where she could turn and live a life free from worry. No longer would she be clumsy weak Bella Swan, but she would be strong, beautiful, someone who people noticed and admired, someone who….she stopped as an image began to form in her mind. There she stood, a cold marble statue, the only thing moving was her long, silky hair as it blew in the wind, her eyes were no longer brown, but a strange mixture of amber with golden flecks. There was sadness about her, a sadness she couldn't quite place, a sadness born of regret. Looking down Bella realised she was looking down on Jake's grave. Nausea welled in her gut and she had to turn quickly as she threw up her lunch on the side of the road.

* * *

"Do you feel better now?" Jake was stroking her hair as he sat next to her in the cab of the truck. He had scooped her up in his warm arms and carried her inside, carefully making sure not to jostle her in case she was sick again. She still looked pale but her face was no longer white. "Must have been that salad."

"Yeah." Bella agreed faintly. There was no way she was going to tell him about the frightening image her subconscious had thrown up. Thinking about it now made her feel sick again. She leaned into him, her ear pressed to his chest so she could hear the strong beat of his heart. His warmth was soothing and she rested her hand on his knee unthinkingly as she counted the beats of his heart.

Jake fidgeted a little. Her touch, however innocent, always made him feel hot. He cleared his throat and placed his hand over hers, taking it off of his knee, it was too intimate. He felt the same undercurrent of electricity flow between them and he revelled in the feeling for a moment. It was always more pronounced when they were like this, just sitting quietly together, drawing comfort from each other's presence. He wasn't sure what had Bella so distressed, but he didn't want to pressure her. It was a relief to have a break from the constant push and pull between them.

"Jake, I'm frightened." Bella whispered.

"Frightened? Of what?" Jake continued to stroke her hair.

"Of losing you… losing myself. I frighten myself a lot of the time. The thoughts that go through my head and the bad dreams." Bella's voice faltered. She was explaining things badly as always. She made no sense, even to herself. How would Jake be expected to understand her?

"You're not the only one who feels like their world is unstable, honey." Jake said gently. "I feel like that too. I have done since my mom died."

Bella raised her head and looked up at him. He had put what she was feeling into a few simple words. How did he always know her so well? Edward always complained he wished he could read her mind as he failed to understand her a lot of the time. "I never felt like I had a home." She confessed. "Mom was always on the move. It was like she was trying to escape from herself, but it was impossible. I get that from her. I'm always trying to be someone else, all of the time. I try to be a dutiful daughter to Charlie, I try to be my mom's best friend instead of a daughter, and I try to be the adoring, compliant girl that Edward craves…" She took in a quavering breath. "But you…you always force me to be myself, and sometimes I resent you for it."

Jake kissed the top of her head. He felt relieved that Bella was opening up to him. She hadn't done that in so long. Not since Cullen had returned. She had been hiding who she was inside, but now she was beginning to question herself. Maybe he had been right to get her away from Cullen's influence. "I resent you too at times, honey." He smiled sadly. "You're the only one who gets under my skin and forces me to challenge myself. It just makes me love you more than ever."

Bella giggled suddenly, a joyous sound to Jake's ears. He hadn't heard her laugh in so long. "We're a right pair, aren't we?" She mused when her laughter died away.

Jake grinned and it lit up his whole face. Bella reached up and trailed her fingers across his full lips, the tips tingling as she did so. "Let's just stay here forever, okay?" She murmured. "Nothing can harm us while we're together, right in this moment, can it?"

"No, nothing can hurt us while we're together." Jake agreed. He pressed his lips into her hair and held her tightly in his arms as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

_**A/N-thanks for reading! **_


	9. Chapter 9

**A Matter of the Heart **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the kind reviews. Nikki **_

**Part Eight-Exhilaration**

"The honeymoon suite is the only room we have, because of the book festival we are booked solid, as are the other cheaper hotels." The clerk gave Jake and Bella an apologetic smile. "Any other time and we would have been able to accommodate you."

Bella exhaled slowly. Typical! Every night for the past few days they had managed to book separate rooms in cheap motels, after the first uncomfortable night spent in the truck, they had decided to make sure and find a place they could rest before continuing on with the journey, even If it was a grotty motel room. But their last port of call had to be in a town which was holding some type of book festival. Tomorrow they would need to head back, it was impossible to stay away any longer, they had promised. "Are you sure there's no other place you could recommend?" She asked the clerk.

He shook his head. "Sorry, it's our honeymoon suite or nothing." He shrugged.

"We'll take it." Jake took Bella by surprise with his sudden decision. She stared at him for a moment before pulling him to one side.

"I haven't enough cash left for what they will charge. It would mean using the credit card." She whispered urgently.

"So use it." Jake yawned as he stretched his long limbs. "I'm tired, and we both need to freshen up and have a good night's sleep before we head back in the morning."

Bella frowned. "I thought you didn't want me to use the card in case Edward traced it."

"It hardly matters now." Jake turned away from her so she couldn't see his face. "We'll be heading back and you'll soon be reunited with the leech."

His words hurt and Bella flinched. Even though they had begun to open up to each other, and called a truce of sorts over the last two days, there was still the underlying tension of her engagement to Edward. She had been feeling increasingly worried about her fiancé, guilt was eating away at her for not contacting him. She felt it was cruel, but she had made that promise to Jake, and she intended to abide by it. She had already broken so many other promises she had made to him. Bella knew Edward would understand. "I'll book it." She agreed quietly and left him to make the arrangements with the clerk.

* * *

The room was decorated in an old fashioned style. The king size canopy bed had plaid curtains draped around it, matching ones hung at the windows, and the floor was carpeted in a deep rich red. Jake walked around the suite and examined the furniture. The wardrobes were made out of oak and so was the matching dresser, with its vanity mirror. He ran his fingers across the hard wood, thinking to himself he could have done a much better job furnishing the place. The furniture was poorly made, definitely not worth the money that the hotel had charged for one night's occupancy.

Bella went straight to the en-suite bathroom and began to unpack the few personal items she had bought on the road. She laid out the shampoo and soap. She noticed a little basket packed with odds and ends. She found a sachet of conditioner and smiled. At last she would have something to detangle her hair. She pulled out a comb and began to try and tame the beast on her head. The comb got stuck and she growled at her reflection in irritation as she tugged and pulled at the fine silky strands.

Jake sauntered into the bathroom when he heard her mutterings. He grimaced when he saw that the room was tiled all in pink. Way too girlie. Bella saw Jake pull a face, and guessed what he was thinking. "It's awful isn't it?"

"Totally." Jake agreed. "I bet they charged double for this room because of the festival."

"I was thinking we could check it out, if you feel up for a stroll later." Bella suggested tentatively. Books were her thing, but not his, but he seemed agreeable. He nodded absently. "You know I think I might have my hair cut while we're here." Bella said for something to say. "What do you think?" She tugged on the ends of her hair.

Jake studied her for a moment, his eyes raking her hair and body. His intense look made her feel uncomfortable, and her skin flushed a dull red. "You're perfect as you are, Bells." Jake said eventually. "But it's up to you."

Bella drew in a sharp breath once she realised she had been holding it. She tore her eyes from his and faced the mirror again. "I fancy a change. I'll go for it."

"Your choice." Jake shrugged and left the bathroom. Bella watched him go, for once having no idea what he was thinking.

* * *

The small town was crowded. The main high street was filled with independent book stores, and Bella was in her element. Her face glowed as she dragged Jake in one shop after another, literally diving into the many haphazard boxes that were piled around the place. She waxed lyrical about some of her discoveries, becoming especially excited when she found a first edition Harry Potter. "It's a pity it's not signed." Bella mused. "But still…" She jumped up and down for a moment before hurrying off to purchase it.

Jake had never seen her this way before. She was happy and excited. Each new find only intensified her enthusiasm, and before he knew it, he was caught up in it too. He helped her climb a ladder in one of the stores so she could investigate the top shelf, and had to laugh when Bella reached over too far for a particularly heavy volume and slipped. He caught her swiftly as she landed smack bang in his arms The shop was crowded and the other customers clapped and cheered him for his daring save, and he found himself grinning as Bella blushed profusely.

There were loads of little known authors who were giving talks, plugging their latest works. Among them were a smattering of well-known authors who had come to give talks and encourage more young people to take up a pen and write their own books. Bella was overcome when she came across one of her favourite romance novelists. She had just released the second in a trilogy of books about a time travelling historical figure called James Fisk. Jake recalled Bella mentioning it once or twice in the past when they worked on the motorbikes together, when life was much simpler. She had read to him aloud from the first book, and he had teased her about having a crush on the hero.

They managed to wangle their way into the private lecture the author, Miranda Richardson, was giving. They sat quietly in the back of the crowded store as a small woman with long blonde hair and a shy smile came centre stage and began to falteringly tell her captive audience about how she had come up with the plot for her books. Jake felt Bella's fingers curl round his as she became enraptured by Miranda's soft voice. There was a contemplative look on her face as if she was mulling over an idea of her own. When the lecture ended, he and Bella lined up and got a signed copy of the latest book.

They drifted out of the store, with Bella clutching the book to her chest. Her face was animated and alight with excitement as she walked by Jake's side in a bit of a daze. She had soon forgotten about getting her hair cut. "What are you thinking about so hard?" He asked her eventually.

Bella stopped walking and glanced at him, she sucked her lower lip into her mouth before a small smile spread across her face. "I know what I want to do, Jake. I know what I want to do."

Jake loved seeing how exhilarated she was. He didn't think he had ever seen her as beautiful as she looked right in that moment with her eager face gazing at him, alive with the prospect of whatever it was she was about to reveal. "Don't keep me in suspense." He grinned at her as she clutched his hand.

"I am going to write, Jake. You wait, ten years from now it will be my name on the cover of a book, a bestseller no less." Bella held Miranda's book in front of her, her fingers tracing the heroic figure of James Fisk on the front cover. "I know who the hero of my book is going to be." She continued.

"Who?" Jake felt love overwhelm him as he listened to her talk. She was so vital and alive. This was his Bella; this was the girl he remembered falling in love with on First beach, the girl who had captured his heart when they had built the motorbikes together and then ridden them, this was the girl who had told him that being a monster didn't matter, that she loved him anyway. This was the girl who had been consumed by a creature who should never have existed. Now she was re-emerging like a butterfly from its chrysalis, and he never wanted to let her go, ever.

"My Own Personal Sun." Bella's eyes became moist with tears as she looked him square in the face. "That's what I'm going to call it, and the hero is Jacob Black, the boy from the reservation who looked at a broken white girl and decided that he saw something inside her worth saving." A tear escaped from her eyes as she spoke, her voice trembled a little. "I love you, Jake. I'm sorry if it took so long for me to see it, and recognise what this growing feeling was inside. Today just made it clear to me, I can't put it into words why, but…"

Jake felt his own eyes welling up. Dammit it he was turning into a girl. He was glad Quil and Embry couldn't see him, they would have teased him for eternity. He knew what Bella was trying to say, even if she didn't. "You're alive; Bells, and today you revelled in living." He couldn't stop himself. He had to kiss her. Jake dropped the bag he had been holding full of Bella's other purchases and cupped her face in his hands. "I love you." He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

Bella felt the electricity spark between them, she was almost certain she could touch the undercurrent as it thrummed to the beat of their hearts. As his mouth moved with hers, her whole skin was set on fire. The heat was all consuming and powerful. A mixture of adrenaline and desire swept through her, lifting her up, and making her whimper as his tongue parted her eager lips and explored her mouth. The kiss was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. Bella could feel Jake's underlying strength, the passion that he was pouring into the kiss. It wasn't filled with desperation or despair like their others had been. She saw no vision's as she had the last time, instead it was red, everything warm and satisfying. All her fears and anxieties left her as she dropped her guard and let Jake inside.

_**A/N-thanks for reading! **_


	10. Chapter 10

**A Matter of the Heart **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thank you for the kind reviews. Nikki **_

**Part Nine-Anchor in a Storm**

Jake and Bella broke apart a little breathless and dazed. It was only then that they realised they had attracted an audience. They had both forgotten they were in the middle of a crowded street. Bella blushed scarlet and clapped a hand over her mouth, while Jake just laughed. He grinned, grabbing her hand to pull her into a little side turning. There were less people there, only one or two drifting by on their way to the next part of the festival. Jake gently pushed Bella so her back was against the wall and cupped her face in his hands. Her skin was extra warm from her blushing, and he couldn't get over how cute she looked. He leaned close, his mouth just millimetres from hers. "Say it again." He whispered.

"I love you." Bella was captivated by the expression on his face, mesmerised in fact. Her senses were still reeling from the sheer intensity of their last kiss and the feelings it had invoked inside her own body, feelings she couldn't really explain. His fingers touched her lips gently, exploring the curve of her pout. He was so warm. She felt the heat trails as his fingers left her lips and began to touch her face all over as if he was a blind person trying to imprint on his brain what she looked like forever. "Jake?"

"I can't believe this is really happening." Jake choked out. He shook a little with the force of his emotions. He rested his forehead against hers as his fingers continued on their journey around her face. "I keep thinking this is some kind of cruel dream, and that I'm going to wake up and find I'm still running as a wolf, and you are getting married."

His words sobered Bella up. The reminder that she was still officially engaged to another made guilt swamp her again. Her previous exhilaration drained away as the import of what she had done became clear. She had betrayed Edward, cheated on him for want of a better word. But even though she felt ashamed, it wasn't enough for her to take back her admission of love for this vulnerable boy in front of her, because in that moment she could see how easy it would be to crush Jake. He was placing his trust in her not to hurt him again. The trust was fragile and could be easily broken if she wasn't careful. Bella was determined not to break him for a second time, because if it happened, even through no fault of her own, then it could break them both.

"We're really here, Jake. I promise. I'm here." Her breath washed over him and Jake dropped his head onto her shoulder, inhaling her sweet scent, as if he trusted his other senses and not his eyes to confirm what she said was true. "I love you." Bella murmured again. She reached up and sank one hand into his hair, it had grown longer and the ends brushed against the collar of his shirt. "I love you." She repeated again.

"Don't leave me, Bella. Not again. Stay with me." Jake then mumbled something in his own language, it was the same words he had uttered before, when he had first tried to kiss her in the kitchen before Alice came back and dragged her away to Italy. Bella now guessed it was an echo of what he had said in English.

"I'm not going to go." Bella brushed her mouth across his slightly and he groaned as he suddenly pressed his mouth hard on hers, and kissed her with a fierce intensity, as if he was claiming her once and for all as his own. The same sparks rippled across Bella's skin and immediately she felt as if her whole body was on fire. She pressed herself willingly against him, her nails digging into his broad shoulders as he crushed her to him.

Jake continued to mumble in Quileute as his mouth left hers and he kissed his way down her neck, his tongue gently teasing her skin. Bella clutched at his shoulders, her sensitive skin going into overdrive. It was all so overwhelming, the heat, the sensations pouring through her body, the feel of him pressed against her, his attraction to her blatantly obvious. Bella gasped for breath, her eyes flaring open suddenly when she heard someone clear their throat behind them. Over Jake's shoulder she saw a police officer glaring at them in disgust. Jake was still kissing the base of her throat seemingly unaware that they had company. Once again they had become so lost in each other that it had made them unaware of others around them. Bella pushed on his chest and he pulled back, his dark eyes alight with desire. She pointed wordlessly behind them, causing Jake to growl low in his chest as he tried to get his raging hormones under control.

"There is a time and a place for this." The officer warned them. "But in the middle of a festival, where there are young families around is not one of them."

He sounded so much like Charlie that it made Bella wince. It could have been her own father if the circumstances were reversed. It felt like she had just had a bucket of cold water chucked over her. Jake took her hand and squeezed it comfortingly. "We're sorry." Jake apologised, his voice was still thick with passion and this seemed to amuse the officer.

"Get your horny asses out of here." He waved them away. "I catch you again and I'll have you arrested under the public decency act."

Bella flushed a dull red as she mumbled her own apologies. She stumbled after Jake as he led her back out into the light and mingled once again with the crowds.

* * *

"That was so embarrassing." Bella chucked the key card onto the dresser and fell back onto the bed. Her hair fanned around her like a silky pillow as she stared at the ceiling.

"But very enjoyable." Jake sat beside her and looked down into her eyes. The smile faded from his face as he studied her carefully. "What happens now, Bells?" He asked.

Bella sat up again. She hated hearing the anxiety in his voice. Yes they had shared a passionate make out session, but underneath he was still obviously struggling to trust in her again. That was going to take time, she knew that. The vulnerability she had witnessed before was still there. "Right now, I'm going to take a shower and wash up so we can get something to eat…tomorrow, well it means going home and facing everyone."

"I don't want to go home." Jake turned away from her and stared at his hands which were placed in his lap. "Once you see _him_ again…" He didn't say anymore.

Bella put a tentative hand on his shoulder but he got up abruptly and headed for the en-suite. "I'll have the first shower if you don't mind." He muttered. He closed the door behind him firmly before Bella could reply.

* * *

They avoided the dining hall and went out to get some pizza so they could eat in their room. The night was drawing in and the crowds had lessened. They walked back to their room in companionable silence, both of them deep in thought. Jake used the card key to open the door, but before they could go inside they were hailed by one of the staff. He was the assistant manager or so his name tagged claimed. "May I have a word?" He asked as he approached.

Bella and Jake exchanged a worried glance. "Is there a problem?" Jake took Bella's hand and laced his fingers tightly with hers.

"I take it you are Miss, Swan. Miss Isabella Swan?" The assistant manager lingered over the word _Miss _as if it was a dirty word.

Bella clutched Jake's hand tighter. "Yes." A sense of foreboding washed over her and she sensed that somehow Edward was behind it.

"Um…this is awkward, but I received a phone call from a Master Edward Cullen. He proclaims to be your fiancé…" He paused and took a step back when he saw Jake's face darken. "He enquired whether you were alone, and of course we don't reveal our guests personal details, but as the credit you used to purchase this suite for the night was paid for by him, well we were forced to tell him that you had a gentleman friend staying with you as he threatened to cancel the payment…."

"And?" Jake snapped, his body was beginning to shake_. Fucking leech, always_ _in the way_. Cullen had done this on purpose. He couldn't get there himself in such a short space of time but he would make sure in any way that he could to stop Jake and Bella sharing a room now he knew their exact location. Jake felt Bella put her other hand on his arm and rub his skin gently as she tried to soothe him with her touch. He couldn't phase in the hallway, although he very much wanted to. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

The assistant manager looked very uncomfortable. Jake towered above him, and with his bulging muscles and his intimidating glare it was enough to frighten anyone. "Um…he specifically warned us that you are a particularly vulnerable young lady and that your companion might not be the best influence on you." He addressed Bella directly. "And as such if we had reason to doubt…." He hesitated as he looked at Jake nervously. "We were to contact the authorities."

"Give me the key card, Jake." Bella held out her hand. Jake placed it in her open palm as he watched her carefully. He couldn't speak he was so fucking angry. He didn't trust himself to deal with the situation and so he left it to her. Bella passed it to the confused assistant manager. "Give us a few minutes to collect our things and we will be on our way." She stated coldly.

The assistant manager tugged at his collar. "The room is still paid for_. You_ can stay but…."

"If Jake goes I go." Bella began to head into the room. "If Master Cullen calls again…" Her eyes narrowed. "Tell him…tell him we're done. He'll understand." She turned away abruptly, and with Jake following close behind her she shut the door in the astonished manager's face.

* * *

Jake was surprised the steering wheel didn't come apart in his hands, he was that angry. His control was being tested to the limit, and he knew that as soon as they managed to reach an area where there was some kind of tree cover, then he would need to phase. His wolf was clawing at his chest. He saw Bella dart him anxious glances as he drove, he was pushing the old truck to its limits, the engine protested all the way. However Bella knew him well enough not to force him to talk when he was like this. He needed to cool down on his own. After another five miles of intense silence, Jake finally pulled over. He switched off the engine. "I'm sorry… I have to." He shot Bella a pleading glance before climbing out of the truck and heading for the trees.

* * *

Bella settled down in her seat to wait. Like Jake she was mad. The fury ran through her veins, making perspiration bead on her forehead. She couldn't conceive why Edward would have done such a thing. Yes, she had guessed he would try and track her down once he knew her location, but to place a call to the hotel and effectively tell the staff that Jake was a danger to her, and that she herself was a vulnerable individual made her blood boil. He had really overstepped the mark. She had forgiven him so many times in the past when he had tried to control her. There was the truck incident where he had tampered with the engine to stop her going to see Jake. There were the constant lies or in his mind twisted versions of the truth all in the name of keeping her safe from harm. But really when it came down to it, all the times she had been placed in danger was because of him and his actions. Jake had only ever kept her safe, Edward did the opposite. It had been because of his actions which had sparked off the whole James and Victoria nightmare, it had been his selfish need to be a martyr which had forced her hand and caused her to flee to Italy, literally leading her right into the lion's den. The fateful party where Jasper had attacked her had been arranged by him, even though she had specifically told him she didn't want one.

Bella's mind was in turmoil as she waited for Jake to return. It was like a veil had been lifted from her eyes as she forced herself to confront the sad truth. She had allowed her own vanity to cloud her good judgement. She couldn't deny the fact that her fragile ego had been stroked when the mysterious Edward Cullen took notice of her. It made her feel special and important; especially when it turned out he craved not just her but her blood as well. Seeing Edward fight so hard to control his addiction just so he could be around her, made her think that they were fated to be together. Why else would he bother fighting his true nature so hard?

But as time had gone on and she became more involved in his life, she had begun to lose all semblance of her own. Bella now realised she had become isolated from her friends, her father and anyone else who meant something to her. Edward became her whole world, and when he had abandoned her it had left her like a broken mannequin. All her avenues of support had gone and she was left alone to flounder until Jake came into her life and started to put back together what Edward had broken.

All these revelations were hard to face and by the time Jake returned from his long run, he found Bella sitting in the cab, her face white and tears streaming from her eyes. Guilt consumed him as he assumed it was his need to take off for a while that had upset her. He pulled her into his strong arms and rocked her a little. "I'm sorry, honey." He pressed his lips into her hair.

"No, I'm sorry." Bella sobbed against his chest. "I'm sorry for being so stupid, for being so blind. I'm sorry that my inability to see the truth hurt you. Please forgive me?"

"Hush." Jake murmured as he cradled her in his strong arms, always her anchor in a storm.

_**A/N-thanks for reading! **_


	11. Chapter 11

**A Matter of the Heart **

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-thanks for the kind reviews, Nikki. **_

**Part Ten-The Shortest Goodbye**

Jake and Bella had been back home for ten days. The impromptu road trip had been cathartic for both; everybody could see the difference in both of them. When Jake had his reunion with Billy, who was now out of the hospital and staying temporarily with the Clearwater's whilst he recuperated, it was emotional on both sides. Billy had hugged his son tightly in an unusual display of paternal affection and it wasn't just the older man who had tears in his eyes when he finally let go. "You look at peace with yourself." Billy said huskily as his dark eyes, so much like Jake's, roamed around his son's face. He could see that the desperate sadness that Jake had been carrying in his heart was missing. He now looked calm and in control. The despair was gone.

"Yes, I am now. The time away did us both good." Jake swiped at his eyes as a tear escaped and rolled down his cheek. He was definitely turning into a girl; he had cried more in the last week than his whole life since his mom had died. But perhaps it had been the emotional release he needed. Bottling up his feelings had done nothing but make him angry and resentful. It was freeing now that those were gone.

"So you and Bella?" Billy prompted. He saw a slow grin spread cross Jake's face; lighting up his eyes and making him seem more like his happy go lucky younger self. Billy felt hope flare in his heart as he pulled Jake in for another hug and slapped him on the back. "You don't know how glad I am to hear that son."

Jake returned his hug fiercely; he was determined never to let his father down again.

* * *

Bella's reunion with Charlie was as bittersweet as Jake's. Charlie was glad to see her, and like Billy, he pulled his daughter into an unaccustomed hug. "Don't ever run off like that again, kiddo." He had scolded her before pulling back and studying her intently. "You look happy." He marvelled as Bella smiled at him. She appeared to be glowing with health. The haunted look she had been wearing for so long had faded, and she seemed content.

"I am happy." Bella held Charlie's hands and her smile grew wider. "It did us both good, getting away from everything and everyone. It made me see things more clearly. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"It's worth it if you come back looking happy, Bells." Charlie pulled out a chair and motioned for Bella to sit down. "So you and Jake made peace with each other then?" He asked cautiously.

Bella took a seat opposite him and bit down on her lower lip. "Um…more than made peace dad." She hesitated for a second before continuing. She didn't want him to think her reckless but she didn't want to hide her newfound relationship with Jake either. She knew that some of their friends and family would think that they were jumping in too quickly, but with everything they had gone through together to reach this point, Bella and Jake didn't want to hold back and go slow. Life was precious and they intended on living it. Bella took a deep breath before she blurted out her news. "Dad, Jake and I, we're together."

Charlie was stunned. His mouth dropped open and he leaned back in his chair as if all the air had been taken out of him. "But what about your engagement to _him_?" He would never be able to say Edward's name.

Bella's face became grim at the mention of Edward's name. She was still livid over the stunt he had pulled at the hotel. "You can rest assured my eyes have been opened as far as Edward is concerned, dad. As soon as I'm settled back in here, I plan to go and see him face to face."

Charlie was ecstatic at the news. He tried to hide his happiness, and bit his tongue so he wouldn't blurt out _I told you so_. He was a bit concerned that she and Jake were rushing into a relationship, but the new confident Bella managed to persuade him that she now knew exactly what she wanted.

* * *

Edward had been calling her constantly since she had arrived back home and charged up her cell. Sam had placed some of the pack around her house to keep him away on Jake's insistence. The pack had been astonished that Jake and Bella were now an item, but they were more happier than anything. The old Jake was back, and no one celebrated this more than his two best friends, Quil and Embry. Jake didn't want Bella to go and see Cullen alone, even though he trusted her implicitly, he didn't trust the leech. So a few days after their return, Jake and Bella went to confront him so she could tell Edward it was officially over and return the gaudy engagement ring.

Memories washed over Bella as they drove her truck down the long winding drive and parked up outside the huge mansion. It all looked so familiar but different at the same time. Had it really only been a matter of ten days since she had been here last? She had been getting ready for her marriage to Edward. If Billy hadn't fallen ill and Charlie not managed to persuade her to leave so she could comfort Jake, then by now she would just be returning from her honeymoon, no longer human, but something else. Bella shuddered at the thought. Had she really wanted to become an icy statue? The very idea frightened her now, but mere weeks ago she had longed to join Edward's family permanently. She felt Jake wind his warm fingers around her own and she calmed down. None of that mattered now. She was here, with him, they were together. Her fate had been in her hands all along, if only she had let her guard down earlier and allowed Jake inside.

"Do you think he already knows?" She asked as she stared up at the white washed walls of the mansion. She could see the Chevy reflected in the tall windows. The Cullen's had been in the midst of packing up their belongings ready to move away from Forks after the wedding. Bella wondered what would happen now. They couldn't stay here. Jake and the pack wouldn't allow it. Talks with the elders had been on-going since Jake's return. The treaty that had been agreed between Ephraim's pack and the Cullen's was in the process of being revoked. After looking through the edicts, Old Quil and the other elders had come to the conclusion that Carlisle had broken the terms the minute he had agreed to change Bella into a vampire.

"I expect he does, honey. He probably read the pack's minds. He was constantly hovering near your house, trying to get to you. So was the little pixie." Jacob leaned across and gave her a soothing kiss. The undercurrent of electricity flashed between them and Bella's nerves completely disappeared. Jake smiled when he felt her relax. "Ready?"

"I'm ready." Bella squeezed his hand before climbing out of the truck.

* * *

"IMPRINTED?" Edward was apoplectic. His fists curled at his sides as he glared at Jake. "YOU FORCED THIS UPON HER."

Jake wasn't intimidated at all. He didn't bother replying. He had promised to let Bella handle it all. He watched as Alice whispered in her brother's ear. Edward's face turned sorrowful as he gazed at Bella, heart break flashing in his eyes. Bella just stared back at him. Jake was pleased to see she didn't seem upset at all. In fact she appeared a little irritated.

"It's all true, Edward. Jake didn't force anything on me. In fact we weren't even aware it had happened until we came back home. Sam had to point it out to us would you believe." A small smile curved her lips upwards as she recalled that conversation. Jake grinned back at her, both of them nearly forgetting the reason why they were there.

"Bella." Alice's bell like tones brought them back into the moment. "Are you certain they are not lying to you? With the dog here I cannot check your future. It sounds ludicrous that you would suddenly imprint with him after so long and that you were both unaware of it." She stared at Jake suspiciously.

"That is true, Bella. He is manipulating you." Edward cried out passionately. "Don't fall for it, my love. Carlisle and the others are already on their way to Denali, if we leave now we can catch them up. We can get married there and…" Edward stopped when he saw impatience flicker across Bella's face.

"Firstly, don't insult Jake again. Secondly you are one to talk about manipulation, both of you?" Bella glared at Alice as well as Edward. "Don't think I am not aware that at times you've used your powers to influence me."

"Only in your best interests, Bella." Alice averted her gaze, unable to meet Bella's eyes.

"So you say." Bella said stiffly. She upended her hand and opened her fingers to reveal Edward's ring resting on her palm. "I want to give this back to you. Give it to the vampire, not human, Edward, that you will one day marry."

Edward looked crushed. It was as if seeing her return his ring finally made him realise that it was over, and there was nothing left he could do to take Bella away from Jake. She was different, he could see it in the way she carried herself. Even her sweet scent had changed; the imprint had infected her body as well as her mind. There was no getting away from the fact that it was true. She belonged to the dog, he had lost her. Silently without further protest he reached out and took the glittering ring from her hand. Their skin brushed and it burned them both. Edward saw Bella pale and he stepped back, his own marble skin reacting badly. That was the final confirmation he needed.

"I wish you well, Edward, and you too, Alice. Goodbye." There was nothing left to say. Bella kept a tight hold on Jake's hand as they walked quickly out of the Cullen's mansion and into the open air. They both inhaled deeply at the same time. Bella turned to Jake and smiled at him. "Can we start living now?" She whispered.

Jake leaned down and kissed her gently, his lips lingering on hers for a long moment. "Definitely." He promised.

_**A/N-only the epilogue to go! Thanks for reading! **_


	12. Chapter 12

**A Matter of the Heart **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**Epilogue**

_**Five years later…**_

Bella felt the nervousness run through her veins. She had never faced anything like this before, this was worse than facing a hundred rabid vampires. Well that was a slight exaggeration, but at least she wouldn't have to speak to the vampires, and embarrass herself for all eternity. This was going live; she would be speaking to thousands, no millions of people. What if she froze? What if the camera trained on her and she couldn't get any words out. God, why had she agreed to this? Why? Perspiration beaded on her forehead and the makeup artist let out a heavy sigh as she immediately dabbed at Bella's forehead with a sponge, trying not to ruin the carefully applied makeup. "Try to relax, dear." She advised wearily.

Bella tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace. "It's my first time." She confided. "I never expected to be on national television. I'm only a writer…"

"A writer who has sold millions of copies of her first book." The makeup artist reminded her. "I can't wait for the second by the way. I wish I could find my own Jacob." A misty look came into her eyes before one of the assistants rushed up to Bella, a voice buzzing in his ear. Bella felt stunned when she was suddenly pushed out into the spotlight. The bright lights made her blink rapidly and suddenly she was there, standing before Ellen DeGeneres. The sound of clapping from the audience rang in her ears, and she fell into the chair opposite the talk show host, losing all her dignity completely.

Ellen leaned across and patted her hand reassuringly. "You'll be fine. My advice is look into the audience and focus on your family. That eases a lot of my guest's nerves."

Bella smiled falteringly as she stared out at the sea of faces looking back at her. And there he was, there they all were. Her father, Billy, the whole pack had come to watch her début. But there was only one person she needed to see. Jake gave her a thumbs up and mouthed good luck. Bella immediately felt better. Her shoulders relaxed and her heart rate returned to normal. She heard Ellen introducing her to the audience as the exciting new young writer of a book which had stormed straight to number one and charmed all the women in America. "And here she is, the one and only author of My Own Personal Sun, Bella Black herself." Ellen clapped along with the crowd and the interview began.

* * *

It had all been surreal. Bella stumbled off the stage, her cheeks flushed and joy making her face glow. She couldn't believe it. She had been on the Ellen show and she hadn't faltered once. She had answered all the questions, even managed to deal with the hosts gentle teasing. It was awesome. Life was awesome. The world was awesome. She felt like an excited little kid as the pack, her father, Billy and Jake all swarmed around her, congratulating and hugging her. This was momentous for all of them. Bella's books were going to make her very well off indeed, and as a result she was able to plough her new found wealth into the reservation. She was already funding several rehabilitation projects for the young children, trying to give them much more opportunities when they left the tribal school. With talks already on going for her books to be made into a series of films, Bella along with Jake and the elders began to make more ambitious plans.

Everything had happened so fast that Bella felt like she hadn't had time to draw breath. She was relieved when she and Jake could retire to their room in the hotel which had been provided by the Ellen show, and relax. "You were great, honey." Jake assured her as he laid next to her on the huge king size bed. "You look a bit peaky though, are you feeling alright?" He trailed his fingers across her cheek, his voice full of concern.

Bella twisted round so she was lying on her side and facing him. Her eyes were bright and lambent. She had a secret to tell, one that she hadn't felt able to share with everything that had been going on. She swallowed thickly, her fingers interlocking with Jake's as she finally revealed what she had been hiding. "Jake, I'm pregnant." She said softly. "You're going to be a father."

It seemed to take a while for the news to sink in. Jake became still for a moment, his hand tightening around hers. It had always been his dream to have a family of his own. They had held off so far because of all the chaos they were surrounded by. Life had become hectic as he tried to balance his growing business. He was the proprietor of the first garage to be opened on the reservation, and it had been so successful that he was planning on expanding, maybe as far as Seattle. Embry and Quil were in co-ownership with him and they already employed several apprentices, which coupled with Bella's growing success as a writer had made planning a family seem impossible.

When he didn't immediately say anything Bella became concerned. Was he upset? "Jake? Talk to me, please?" She begged. "I know this isn't the ideal time but…"

Her words were swallowed as Jake suddenly came to life and pulled her into his arms. He rolled onto his back so she ended up draped across his taut body. "I'm going to be a dad?" He checked as if he didn't quite believe what Bella had told him.

"Yes." Bella laughed as he kissed her in delight. He continued to rain kisses all over her face until she had to beg him to stop because she couldn't breathe. She gazed into his beloved dark eyes and smiled contentedly. "Happy?" She asked.

"More than happy." Jake caressed her face with his hand before leaning in for another, gentler kiss. "I love you, Bella Black."

"Right back at ya, Jacob Black." Bella whispered, her eyes alight with all the love she felt inside.

**The End…**

_**A/N-thanks for reading!**_


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